Brief Introduction Into Teenage Stupidity (MxM)

Chapter 7

“Remember that guy my age who overdosed?” 

I saw on their faces that they had no idea what I was talking about, and my chest clenched.

They didn't connect shit. 

If my own family didn't make the connection, there's no way anyone did, and I was freaking out for three months because of my stupid paranoia.

I knew I had to keep talking if there was any chance I was to convince them.The problem was, I was making shit up as I talked and that usually didn’t end well. 

- A boy I knew… he didn't go to my school, but we went to the same places, hung out with the same people. He overdosed and died.” I made a dramatic pause because I had to swallow a real lump in my throat. “They found him a few days before all of this, and it completely fucked me in the head. I was pretty scared and started to think, I mean, I knew him, I saw him the day before, we took the same stuff and did the same shit and now he was dead… “

Looks like an acting career was still an option, this time the tears flew down freely.

Nat obviously stopped planning to kill me because she came over and hugged me, letting me sob into her shoulder.

“I was so afraid that it would happen to me too. That I wouldn't know how to stop and that one of you would find me… I couldn't stay here after that. I thought it would be easier if I got away from everything, you know, from these people, from the places where I knew how to get it and who to ask. I thought, "I don't know, I wouldn't be tempted if I wasn't with them.” 

I immediately knew exactly what question was coming next. 

“Sam and Riven had absolutely no connection with them. Riven wasn't even here the whole summer and Sam didn't know anything. Not about drugs nor with whom I hang out nor where I went, absolutely nothing. I kept him completely in the dark because I was sure if he found out, he would make me tell you. Or tell you himself.”

I could see this calmed them down. 

It was nice to include some truth in my confession. Sam and Riven really had absolutely no idea about anything related to the situation, but everything else was a giant pile of bullshit.

 I mean, okay, there was some truth to the fact that I was scared and screwed and should have moved away, but I still chose to keep my mouth shut about the rest. After this reaction, they didn't need the information that I was also an up-and-coming dealer for a while.

“Nick, you have to know that we love you and nothing you say will change that,” started Nat, still holding me in her arms. “I also know that's not all. Spit out the rest immediately.”

Fuck it. So much for no one connecting anything. I felt like throwing myself off the bridge or drowning in the bathtub. So much for my concealment of the truth.

“Don't think we've forgotten about the amount you... uh, borrowed,” dad interjected.

He will never know how much that interjection made my life easier, because, suddenly, everything clicked for me. Of course, the money I took when I left. Even though it was a colossally stupid decision, I think it just gave me a lifeline.

“I don’t have it anymore. I… I owed some guys. Quite a bit…,” I saw his eyebrows go up at that, “… and I thought it would be for the better. I wanted to pay them everything I owed before I left. I was afraid they would come after me or that they would come after you. I'm terribly sorry, I was really stupid, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

There was once again a long silence before dad answered.

“I think I understand. And I don't believe I'm going to say this, but it was probably for the best. The money was never important, we were just worried for you. It wasn’t a sum that will destroy us.”