Is it wrong to be a Jedi

Improvements

Bell sat with his back pressed against his mother's headstone. A cool summer breeze blew in the air while Bell lamented over what had happened.

"So...things have happened since our last talk. I lost a hand...and used the Dark Side. You'd probably be disappointed in me if you were here. I'm disappointed in myself."

Bell paused and silence filled the air. He sighed and looked down at the dirt below him. The ground where his mother had been buried.

"I don't like what I became. Replaying the moment in my head...I feel like I'm looking through a different person's eyes. But I'm not, I'm looking through mine."

Bell stopped again as he started to choke up. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Part of him wished his mother was still alive so he could feel her warmth.

"But I had to save Alise. I know that's an excuse but she would've died if I didn't. Maybe this is why the code teaches us to not grow attached? Because things like that happen."

"..."

"But I still don't understand that. I don't understand why I can't love or grow attached to people. If we throw away the love we have for those around us how does that make us better than the Sith? How does being emotionless and apathetic make us better?"

"..."

Bell sighed again and closed his eyes. Another breeze blew past causing his hair to float. He had so many questions. About himself, the Jedi, everything.

Part of him wondered if he was even cut out to be one.

"I doubt you'd know the answer. I doubt Alfia or Zald know either. Maybe that's why they abandoned the old code? I still think it's stupid but maybe it had some wisdom to it."

"..."

"In other news, I made a new friend. His name is Welf and he's a blacksmith. Zald and Alfia rescued him so that's why I was alone when fighting the Sith Lord. Oh yeah, that's why I lost my hand. But he's nice and offered to make me a new hand. He knows how to because he's had to make hundreds before because of Rakia waging war."

Bell smiled and opened his eyes. The sun was hidden behind the gray storm clouds. It would rain soon.

"Well looks like it's about to rain. Oh, Alise is fine by the way. She's still lost her voice but she's alive and, well breathing. Haruhime and Ardee are doing alright as well. They have spirit contracts now along with the rest of the Astraea familia minus Alise. Oh yeah, I nearly forgot to mention Aria. Dad saved her from the giant lizard so now she's sticking around to pay him back. You'd like her, she's the reason the Sith Lord didn't kidnap me."

A rumble of thunder in the distance alerted Bell he needed to hurry up.

"Well, I have to get going now. I'll try and visit you again soon. Even if I don't have many exciting stories to tell I like keeping you updated on my life. Love you, Mom."

Bell then stood up and began jogging back to the Wheat Manor as it started to rain. The raindrops pelted the headstone giving it the look of it crying.
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Bell arrived back at the Wheat Manor before the rain got too heavy. He ran his hand through his hair to get it out of his face before looking around.

The front of the house was empty. But further inside he could sense Demeter in the common room. He made his way there before hearing a soft sniffling.

Bell picked up the pace slightly and made his way inside the living room. When he arrived he saw Demeter hunched over in her chair covering her mouth. Her body was shaking and Bell knew she was crying.