A new beginning

Agony

Jake's POV

I woke up with a smile on my face, which instantly disappeared when I reached for her in bed and she wasn't there.

The other side of the bed was cold. I was out on my feet in a second.

Nessie?

No answer from the bathroom. I went into her and Izzy's room, and found her bed and clothes gone as well. Panic started to fill me. But Izzy's stuff was still there. What's happening? Where is she?

I listened closely for a second, but the only heartbeat in the house was mine. And it was beating so loud I could barely hear anything else. I've snatched my underwear from my room, and ran down the kitchen. Part of me hoped she would be there, even though the rational part of my brain knew that the house was empty.

My first memory after her kidnapping came to my mind. They almost killed me. I was lying in bed at the Cullen's when I first woke up. Every bone in my body hurt, but my soul hurt more. I knew something was wrong. She wasn't near me... my imprint wasn't near me. And after they told me what happened... I almost blacked out from agony. From the knowledge that I failed her.

I ran out of the house breathing heavily. Memories of dread and panic slowly started to settle in from the first time I lost her. I scanned the area, and found nothing unusual. No new scents, vampire, human or shapeshifter. She was not taken... she had to be safe. I tried to calm myself, but the wolf inside of me roared and wanted to rip everything apart until she was in my arms again.

I was so focused on the forest, that I barely noticed Seth's car when he parked behind me.

Jake? - Izzy's voice was gentle, worried. I couldn't move. Every muscle in my body was tense, waiting for an attack, waiting for me to change, but I hold back. I could barely get enough air into my lungs. Where is she? - my voice was off. She is okay, man. She is with the Cullens. - Seth answered. I let out a shaky breath. She is safe at least. I told her to text you.. that you will be worried. She didn't? - asked Izzy with a disappointed tone.

I didn't even check my phone. I instantly panicked after not feeling her next to me, not hearing her heartbeat in the house. I couldn't think of this scenario.. that she left me on her own. My phone was upstairs, and Izzy's right, she probably texted... because she did this on purpose. She gave herself to me... then left me in the morning, like I am some fucking one-night stand. I felt the anger as it was bubbling inside of me, taking over everything.

She is safe, she is okay... she just doesn't want to be with me.

I've started to run before I let myself change. Seth yelled my name before I erupted into a wolf, but I didn't stop. I couldn't. I let the wolf take form and run into the forest. But no matter how fast I ran, I couldn't outran the pain.

It was almost night time when I arrived back. I ran miles, and almost stayed in the forest for the night, but I remembered the last time I lost her... I soon lost myself to the wolf, and my family suffered for it. I can't do that to them again. And after hours of running, the rage calmed. It still pained me beyond measure that she left, but I started to rethink everything she said and did. After the rage, came the guilt. Did I push her into having sex with me? She wasn't ready to take that step? But then I remembered how she begged for me... how desperate she was under me... no, she wanted me. Is it possible she only wants me physically? I mean I knew she had experience with other guys, that she wasn't opposed to one night stands, and she had an issue with commitment. That's why I was holding back with the imprint thing.

But what she confessed to me in the cave.. that she was afraid I could imprint on somebody at any minute, it seemed like she needed me to tell her she is the only one. That I would never leave her. I said I loved her, and she kissed me... she said she needed me... although that is not the same as loving me. That girl was sure confusing.