shots a.u.

0.2

I laid in bed in the Silence besides my thoughts. I was still, peaceful and comfortable. not a care in the world. Not a care until my phone obnoxiously started ringing on the pillow next to my head. I groaned and picked it up looking at the screen.

lukeypoo is calling...

fuck, not him. I couldn't handle this, I haven't dealt with him in fourteen days. Fourteen days since he fucked up big time. I sighed lightly and tapped the answer button.

"Alex?" his voice whimpered through the speaker. I turned him on speaker and laid my phone next to me.

"Luke."

"Oh thank god you answered me, baby I'm so sorry, please forgive me." I furrowed my eyebrows.

"since when was I your baby, Lucas? you fucked some slut, you lied to me, you told me you stopping doing drugs! you fucking lied to me about everything."

"Alex, I'm sorry I'm so fucking sorry. I'm a fuck up, I fucked up so badly, I never knew how fucking much I needed you, I need you so much." I rolled my eyes and pulled my hair back into a ponytail.

"yeah, well you've fucked up one too many times. Live with the fucking consequences. Don't come tell me that you need me, I'm not going to believe that bullshit. you don't fucking need me, remember we're not even dating, we just fucked around a few times, something to keep my mind off of everything else. sound familiar?" I snapped at him.

"I don't know what I was thinking, I don't know why I said that. I'm an asshole, a douche bag, a fucking dick, a fuck up, piece of shit, but Alex, you are what I need, you're everything. Every night I can't get you out of my head. it's like I'm trapped and I can't fucking get you out of my head. I need you, I'm not fucking around anymore, I'm scared, I'm scared that I'm falling for you. I'm not scared I'm terrified, it's this feeling I can't describe it, I'm getting worse again Alex I need you." he lets out a small sob.

"you can't run away from everything you're scared of, you don't care for me, you're not falling for me, I'm someone who gave you sex and you're a hormonal boy who just wants it, that's what you're falling for."

"No, listen to me, I am falling for you. you're in my head every second of everyday. I took 20 shots of vodka because I wanted to forget your name, the only name I forgot was mine. and it turns out, when i am drunk or sober, you're the only thing that's on my mind, I can't forget about you, I can't give you up, I." he sighs. "I l-l, need you. I just need you, forgive me please I'm scared of what's happening to me."

"how am I supposed to just forgive you? am I supposed to forget everything ? just let it all go? huh? is that how you expect this to work? because no, that's not how it fucking works. you figure it out, you figure out how to fix this then come talk to me." I hang up and smash my face into my pillow screaming into it.

everything with him fucks me up. it fucks me up mentally, and it leaves me feeling like I got hit by a train.

my phone chimes and I look to see a new text.

12:30pm
danni: Alex get the fuck up we're going to Michael's, Cal is taking me to your house right now.

I groaned and got off of my bed, walking to my dresser I pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a black green day shirt. pulling the two on I slipped on my converse and grabbed my phone charger before heading downstairs.

I walked to the kitchen and filled my cats bowl with food. "tuna?" I called out and heard a small meow, I grinned and saw my cat running over to me.

"hey baby girl." I ran my hand down her back petting her and she started eating the food. "I'm going to be gone for awhile, but I'll be home later, okay?" I rolled my eyes at myself, talking to my own fucking cat.