Lyssophobia || Soukoku

4|| Struggles And Strengths

Hello hello ^-^! 

Welcome to the new chapter ^-^! 

How are you all? 

I hope you all are doing good ^-^! 

Sorry for the late update! I was busy with drawing gifts for my friends and I was outside all day lol! 

Warning! 

This chapter contains mental health struggles, relapse and substance abuse, discussion of past trauma, expression of suicidal ideation, and intense emotional scenes! 

If you don't like it or are uncomfortable with it, please don't read the chapter! I won't tolerate any hate comments or insults! 

Chapter song: The Middle by Jimmy Eat World.  

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Dazai continued his therapy sessions with Chuuya, making strides in confronting his past and learning to cope with his emotions. However, the road to healing remained rocky, with frequent mood swings causing turbulence in his journey.

One day, Dazai felt optimistic. He had painted a breathtaking landscape that inspired him, reminding him of the strength he possessed. "Chuuya, I think I'm making progress. I can feel it," Dazai said with a newfound vigor.

Chuuya's smile was encouraging. "That's wonderful, Dazai. It's important to acknowledge the progress you are making. Keep up the good work." 

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The following week, however, Dazai arrived at his session with a downcast expression. "I'm sorry, Chuuya. I skipped my affirmations and I had a relapse. I drank, and I can't even remember how I got home last night," Dazai confessed, ashamed.

Chuuya's face held concern but not judgment. "Relapses are part of the process. The important thing is that you recognized it and sought help again. Please, don't beat yourself up over it. Let's work on identifying the triggers that led to this relapse."

Dazai sighed, relieved that Chuuya didn't condemn him. "I think it started when I was overwhelmed with guilt for not being further along in my healing."

"And that thought led you to believe you weren't making any progress?" Chuuya inquired.

"Yes," Dazai admitted. "I guess I'm just too hard on myself."

Chuuya nodded understandingly. "It's common to struggle with self-compassion during recovery. Let's create a safety plan for moments like these. It could include reminding yourself of your accomplishments and reaching out to someone for support."

Dazai agreed, feeling more hopeful. "I will create a list of my achievements and hang it where I can see it often."

Chuuya approved. "That's a fantastic idea. And remember, you have me, as well as your other support systems. You are not alone in this."

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Over time, Dazai became more adept at managing his mood swings. He learned to recognize the signs of impending low and would reach out to Chuuya for guidance before it spiraled out of control.

One day, in a particularly upbeat mood, Dazai excitedly shared a new painting he had completed. It depicted a serene village nestled among rolling hills, bathed in warm sunlight. "This one feels different. I think it represents the peace and happiness I am starting to find," Dazai revealed.