Lyssophobia || Soukoku

5|| In The Shadows Of Love And Madness [Final]

Hello, hello ^-^! 

Welcome to the final chapter! 

How are you all? 

Sorry for the late update! I was a little busy with drawing gifts for my friends ^-^!

Warning! 

This chapter contains mental health struggles, family estrangement and reconcilation, romantic and emotional vulnerability, references to past trauma, and hospital/institution setting! 

If you don't like it or are uncomfortable with it, please don't read the chapter! I won't tolerate any hate comments or insults! 

If you decide to read anyway, enjoy ^-^! 

Chapter song: Youth by Daughter. 

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As Dazai continued his therapy sessions, he began to develop feelings for Chuuya. The therapist's kindness, attentiveness, and unwavering support stirred emotions he couldn't ignore. The more time they spent together, the harder it became for Dazai to deny his attraction.

Yet, Dazai knew he had to tread carefully. Lyssophobia, his fear of insanity, loomed large in his mind. He couldn't risk allowing his feelings to cloud his judgment. If he were to act on them, the possibility of losing control terrified him.

He retreated into his shell, dedicating more time to his art and personal pursuits. Dazai kept his distance from Chuuya, both in and out of therapy sessions. He knew it was the safer path, but the loneliness that ensued weighed heavily on his heart.

In their sessions, Chuuya noticed a change in Dazai's demeanor. While the progress in healing continued, the once-open young man now seemed guarded. Chuuya sensed something was troubling Dazai, but he didn't pressure him. After all Dazai could tell his feelings whenever he wanted. 

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During one session, Dazai suddenly said. "Chuuya, I guess I decided to continue my therapy with another doctor."

Chuuya appeared taken aback but quickly composed himself. "Are you sure, Dazai? You have made significant strides in your healing."

Dazai averted his gaze, unable to meet Chuuya's eyes. "I think it's best. I need a fresh perspective."

Chuuya's voice held a tinge of sadness. "Alright, if that's what you want, I will help you transition to another therapist. It's been an honor to work with you, Dazai."

Dazai stood up, avoiding Chuuya's handshake. "Thank you, Chuuya. You have truly helped me."

As Dazai walked out of the therapy room, he felt a sense of loss. He knew he was making the right decision for his mental health, but it didn't ease the emptiness that threatened to consume him.

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In the days that followed, Dazai threw himself into his work. Painting became his refuge, an escape from the turmoil of his emotions. He immersed himself in the rich colors and strokes, allowing his technique to evolve as his heart healed.

His new therapist, Dr. Akutagawa, understood the need for change and worked diligently to help Dazai continue his journey. Akutagawa employed various techniques, encouraging Dazai to confront his fears through exposure therapy.

While the sessions were fruitful, Dazai couldn't shake the feeling of loss. It wasn't until his second session with Dr. Akutagawa that the reason for his discomfort become clear.