NIKKI & JOE, CASUALLY |

69: public service announcement: one month is too soon

            I drop Allan's Nintendo DS onto my lap as Mario falls between the clouds and the death music plays. 'So close!' he groans as I hand it to him for his turn. We've been stuck on this level since Stoke-On-Trent and the train is steadily approaching Birmingham now. I watch over Allan's shoulder as he jumps into the level of Super Mario Bros yet another time.

We're headed to London for Caleb's Drag Expo. On the other side of the aisle, Rishi and Caleb are, not surprisingly, bickering. 'London is the worst city in this country,' Rishi declares. 'It's full of rubbish and London Eye is nothing like the Eye of Sauron. It's just some lame fecking ferris wheel. Why do people make such a song and dance about it? This whole country can disappear for all I care.'

'And yet, you moved to this country.'

'Oh, darling, you needed me. The drag scene here would wilt if it relied only on you English queens.'

Eilidh snorts from the chair behind him and Caleb whips his head around to glare at her over the headrest. 'Why are you laughing? You're my girlfriend, you're supposed to support me.'

She does her best to tuck her laughter into a gentle smile. 'Aye, I support you. Just cannae support the English.'

'It's not my fault I were born here.'

'Should've tried harder to be born somewhere else,' Rishi says, examining his nails.

'Next time, I'll be sure to petition God.' Caleb rolls his eyes almost as dramatically as he sighs, grumbling probably louder than he intends: 'We all hate England, let's just blow the whole thing up.'

'Maybe,' I say, 'let's not talk about blowing things up on a public train full of people.'

Caleb's stare staggers to mine, confused as his brain struggles to compute the situation and then his eyes get as wide as saucers. He peers over the top of his chair again. 'I were just kidding. I don't have any bombs.' He beams at my mortified expression. 'That made it better, right? And they say autistics are bad at socialising. Fake news.'

'If you get kicked off the train, the rest of us are staying on,' Rishi says.

'What? No, Nikki will get kicked off the train with me.'

'I'm not a terrorist,' I protest.

'Neither am I! If the police come, we'll just tell em it was Allan.'

Allan's attention darts up from Mario Bros. 'Why?'

'You're a white cishet man. You could literally be a terrorist and they wouldn't care.'

'Fine, I'll be the terrorist.'

'No one has to be a terrorist!' Rishi exclaims. Wouldn't be surprised if he did explode and took the whole train with him. 'We could just stop talking about terrorism. Eilidh, come sit next to your terrorist boyfriend.' He snatches his bag, steps over Caleb, and shoves me. 'Ma says it's my turn next to the white man.'

'Oh, partner swap!' Caleb calls out, loud enough for the whole car to hear again. 'It's like we're in a swingers club.'

I'm ushered out of my seat for Rishi to take it and as Eilidh has moved over to sit with Caleb, the only vacant seat left is beside Joe. I linger in the aisle, clinging onto the back of Caleb's seat when the train veers through a notch in the tracks.

'Can I sit here?'

Joe picks at her new acrylic nails, equally uncertain about the thought of us sitting together. I'm about to offer to go somewhere else when she nods. 'Of course.'