The Other Dixon || c.g

•eighteen• train tracks

*Addison POV*

I dozed in and out of sleep all night, terrified when I closed my eyes. This morning once I woke up I knew I wouldn't get to sleep again so I just sat here staring out the windshield at the trees, making sure I didn't look at Brett's cold body lying on the ground near the forest. Carl's legs were on my lap with his head on Michonne's lap, Michonne was awake and playing with Carl's hair as he slept. I don't think she got to sleep at all.

"Hey what you did last night, anybody would've done that to save their family" I overheard Daryl say to Rick, they were sitting in the same place Rick sat down last night; he probably hasn't moved a muscle since then.

"No, not that"

"Yeah something happened, but that ain't you"

"Daryl you've seen what I've done, that is me. That's why I'm here now, that's why Carl is. I've got to keep him safe that's all that matters." I looked down at Carl and saw he was awake; I grabbed his hand in mine. The three of us didn't say a word, just sat there eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Keeping Addison safe is what matters most to me to and to be able to do that were going to do some messed up things but the stuff we do to keep them safe... doesn't make us bad people, it doesn't define who we are. Carl will get over what he saw you do, just give him some time" Things were quiet after that, everything Daryl said was right. The terrible things we do for the ones we love don't define who we are.

"We should get going, the faster we get to Terminus the better" Rick said and the car moved as they stood up. Daryl knocked on the car's back window to wake us up and I saw Rick through the windshield picking up the guns from the dead men and putting it in his bag. Carl took his legs off me and I got out of the car, him following me and Michonne going out the other back door. No good mornings were said we just all got back into rhythm and started walking on the track to Terminus. Daryl made his way over to me and put his arm around me and I did the same, it felt nice to have him close again. Michonne and Rick walked ahead, Carl in the middle with me and Daryl bringing up the rear end.

"How you holding up?" Daryl asked me giving me a little squeeze.

"I'm fine" I said quietly.

"Don't do that" He said sternly.

"Don't do what?"

"Put up a wall. I know you've got Carl now and I'm happy about that but, I'm here too"

"What's there to say? My family were almost killed in front of me while I was about to be raped and murdered, that's not really a happy conversation starter" I said sarcastically.

"Okay, let's talk about something else. Where did you go after the attack from the governor? You were tied up on that field with them then when I went to go find you, you vanished."

"Michonne and I got away, then we got separated and that's when I found Rick and Carl at the prison as they were leaving. I wanted to stay but Rick was hurt and the whole place was in ruins so I left." My mind wandered to that day and Hershel being murdered right in front of me before I snapped back to reality.

"What about you?" I asked him.

"After the tank rolled through our gates and shit really hit the fan, I went to go find you but you weren't there. I went back to the prison but things were getting bad, when I found Beth we just left. I was with her ever since until we were overrun by walkers and she was taken by someone in a car. Then I found those men, I knew they were bad but I didn't think they were like that..." He trailed off.

"It doesn't matter, let's just not talk about it" I mumbled readjusting my arm that was around him."Of course, that's what Dixon's do best. 'Not talk about it'."Daryl smirked.