Xandros and Ally

Chapter 17 (Ally): Upbeat Positivity

The most difficult thing in the world was knowing that I was leaving a steady, high-paying job that I'd worked hard to attain...and stepping into the unknown. Like Zed had said, I was about to jump off the zip line platform.

However, now that I'd finally put in my last day and packed up my desk, I couldn't bring myself to leave my office. Once I walked out those doors of G&N, it'd be officially over. Doubts had paralyzed me, and I was deep in the throes of second-guessing myself.

What if our program was a failure? What if I couldn't teach? What if I didn't have any students? What if I did and they all looked at me like I was an idiot?

My colleagues had taken me out to lunch today, and when we'd returned, there'd been a cake and balloons and a card that everyone had signed, and a generous Amazon gift card so I could buy things for the new program. People had been stopping by my office all day and I'd slowly boxed up my things after five, not wanting to walk out as my colleagues watched me leave, knowing they'd be coming to work on Monday and I wouldn't be. HR had told me that my computer access and key card access to the lab would be cut off at three in the afternoon and I could pack up at my leisure. I suspected Xandros had told them I was not a risk to stealing company secrets or property.

All I had to do was pick up the stupid box, turn around and walk out. But the tears started and I didn't even try to stop them, not quite ready to be done. Feeling out of sorts because I was scared of the entirely new career that awaited me.

Maybe. If I didn't blow it. As Zed kept reminding me, I could always come back to pharmaceutical research if I didn't like teaching music. I took that to actually mean if you suck at this teaching gig and get run out of the Foundation by musicians who actually know what they're doing. Zed laughed at me whenever I asked him if that's what he meant.

"Ally," Xandro's voice said quietly from the doorway behind me.

I hadn't expected him to let me leave here without saying goodbye. Although I'd been sure he'd pop in at some point during the day, I was surprised he'd waited until now. I could have been long gone.

Brushing my hands quickly over my face to remove as much of the wetness as I could, I blinked back the rest of the tears that wanted to fall. Then Xandros turned me to him, and he looked down into my face with such understanding that I almost threw myself against that broad chest so he could comfort me.

"Ally," he said again, but in an entirely different way. A softer, more understanding, indulgent way.

His hand came up and he used his thumbs to wipe away the tears that were still sliding down my cheeks. Unlike many men, he didn't panic when faced with tears. He didn't tell me not to cry, and he didn't ask me what was wrong.

Xandros just knew.

So he patiently and without a word kept wiping away my tears until the deluge slowed, eventually stopping, and then he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"Better, fos mou?" he asked gently.

Nodding, I swiped at my own face. "Just having a mini-meltdown about actually walking out of here and leaving everything behind."

"Everything?" he asked, his eyebrows going up. "Even me?"

Was I? I couldn't get the words out to answer him.

"Because I've got to tell you, that's not going to work for me, Ally."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that now that you're no longer an employee here, now that I'm not held back by familial obligations, I can pursue you, freely and openly like I should have done from the start. I can do everything the right way. And I can show you how sorry I am for the horrible offer I made you and let you know how much I love you."