Xandros and Ally

Chapter 10 (Xandros): I'm Here

There was nothing I was doing right lately. Nothing. I'd been a fucking mess thinking I was going to lose Ally, thinking I was going to end up married to Cressie, thinking I'd lost the most important person in the world to me because I had to do what was expected and not let my family and the company down. I felt like shit for asking her to be my mistress, but even total desperation was no excuse for making that play. I'd cheapened what we had, made her feel like shit. I knew it. I'd known it would, and yet I still threw it out there because I couldn't see any other way to keep her in my life unless I was willing to destroy my grandfather and jeopardize the family business that my grandfather had built with his best friend. Instead, I chose to destroy Ally like the thoughtless idiot I was.

From that disaster, the woman I loved wrote a number one single and had become an overnight sensation because the whole world recognized her amazing talent. People everywhere identified with the song lyrics, with the pain that was so evident in each line and note. It was the battle cry of every person who'd ever had their heart broken by someone they'd loved and trusted. In other words, it was universally appealing because everyone had a sad story to tell, a failed love that wrecked them.

I couldn't force Ally to talk to me at work, and after she'd made that abundantly clear, I knew she was right. I couldn't harass her, but especially not where she made her living. Although, given her sudden fame, I wondered how much longer she'd work at G & N. It intrigued me how that would play out -- Ally wasn't one for the spotlight or riches or fame. Maybe Alabama was, but that still didn't feel right. She liked to sing for the sake of singing. My girl came alive in an entirely different way when she lost herself in a song and it was amazing to watch. Mesmerizing.

And I was going to lose all that was Ally. She was slipping through my fingers, and time was running out. So on my birthday, when my grandfather had basically told me to do what I needed to do, the message was clear. I needed Ally in my life. Period. No question about it. So I was going to do whatever I needed and get Ally back.

First up was telling Cressie that we weren't happening. It sickened me that she didn't care at all when I told her that I didn't love her and never would -- and she still wanted to marry me because I was hers. She viewed me as her motherfucking property, no more, no less. This betrothal-at-birth shit had done her a lot of damage, and I hoped she'd eventually see that we were better off, free to pursue people who fulfilled us and who we truly loved. None of this fake bullshit that made her think she loved me even though she knew nothing real or substantial about me.

So, after telling Cressie we wouldn't be happening, I went on to truly mess things up. When I saw Ally was the surprise birthday performer, my stomach dropped. Why had she agreed to this thinking that I was either engaged or about to be engaged at my party?

Looking into her eyes, I knew why. She was showing me that while she was hurting, she wasn't broken. Her strength was shining through her eyes, her determination to put me in my place evident only to me. She was hurting, and I wanted nothing more than to stop her pain.

Finally, unable to take any more, after her Lip Service and Pretty Lies song, I stupidly kissed her and announced her as the woman I loved and the woman I was going to marry. I'd not only stolen her moment, but I'd exposed her to everyone at the party -- coming soon to a viral video near you -- because once again, I'd handled things all wrong.

The relief I felt when she'd agreed to talk with me the next day was indescribable. When her cousin tried to mitigate my huge misstep, he played it off perfectly while I tried to look like I'd been joking instead of more serious than I'd ever been in my life.

I didn't follow her when she made her escape from the party because I was forcing myself to be patient and to give her time to let what I'd said sink in. But my patience only lasted so long and right at ten the next morning, I was knocking on her door.

No answer.

It didn't take long to realize I'd been played, but I kept knocking, just in case she was home and would relent. She didn't, so, like it or not, I'd decided to talk to her at work the next day. Except she wasn't there either. I checked to see if this had been a scheduled day off on the shared department calendar and saw she was out the whole week. That had me heading to her supervisor's office where we chatted about the people I still had left to talk with on his team, and I expressed my dismay that Ally was out.

"I really wanted to get her crossed off the list this week."

"Oh, Ally took the week off. She's in LA -- she's going to be on the Greyson Whitlock Show tonight. Can you believe that? Quiet, shy Ally on national TV. Who the hell would have ever expected that? She was so nervous about the taping this afternoon that I think she almost wanted me to deny her vacation request."

"I had no idea. Well, good for her. I'll just catch her when she gets back, then. Thanks for your help."

Calling out for the rest of the week, I went home and packed a bag, then took off on the family jet for LA. I had my personal assistant call the show and find out all the specifics -- and get me access to the studio for the taping. Given that the time difference worked in my favor, I landed with plenty of time to spare before the show began taping.

This time, however, I wasn't going to react like a desperate asshole like I had at my party. I wasn't going to interrupt. I wasn't going to let her know I was there until after her interview and performance.

But I was also going to let her know that we were going to talk. No more running from or avoiding me; Ally needed to know that I wasn't engaged to another woman and had no plans to marry anyone but her.

I'd stopped at a florist that I'd had my PA find and order a bouquet of forget-me-nots, one of Ally's favorite wildflowers. They'd added some shiny green leaves and little, tiny white flowers and wrapped it all in brown paper tied with a white bow. It was beautiful and just what Ally liked.

When I'd arrived at the soundstage, I'd been led to a guest room, assured Ally wouldn't see me and where I could watch Ally's interview and performance.

Listening to her talk about her stutter and how the singing helped her fly like a bird made me wish I could rush out to her and hold her close, never letting anything or anyone hurt her again.

After her performance, Greyson called her back and played one of the many recordings of me declaring my love for her. The clips had all gone viral, unfortunately. And then she jabbed at me in a way that wasn't Ally-like. Her dig about me not being interested in marriage to her, but maybe I was good enough for something on the side was obviously her pain talking. That wasn't Ally, and it made me wonder if she'd ever be able to forgive me. I'd known I'd hurt her, but her taking a jab at me the way she had told me that there might not be a way to come back from what I'd done.

But I'd be damned if I didn't do everything I could to change her mind. If she ultimately decided she didn't want me back, it wouldn't be for lack of trying and for doing every fucking thing I could on my part to show her I was hers in every way. To show her how wrong I'd been to suggest what I had.

So I stood just behind the curtain, flowers in hand. Someone pulled the curtain back when Ally started to walk off the soundstage, and she stopped when she saw me.

"You were stunning tonight. Absolute perfection," I said to her.

"Y-y-y-you're h-h-h-hhhhere."

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm here. We're overdue for that talk you promised me, anasa mou."