Xandros and Ally

Chapter 8 (Xandros): The Woman I Love

I was getting jittery being without Ally. When it came time to talk to my father about the next department I moved into, I'd said I wanted to try R & D, and he'd agreed that it'd be good for me to move there next.

The meeting I sat in with the entire R & D department had been hell because I'd wanted to order everyone out so I could talk with Ally. But what could I say? She wanted nothing to do with me.

It ate at me, looking ahead to a life devoid of her. Until I'd met her, I'd never thought twice about my future. It'd be what I expected it to be and if it wasn't more exciting than that, I'd have work and the company and maybe a couple of children someday. There was no way I'd complain about my privileged life and would find a way to make the best of a loveless marriage.

Cressie had somehow managed to talk herself into thinking she loved me, if what she told my cousins could be believed, so maybe she'd be satisfied with the marriage. But I wasn't sure why she felt she loved me and what she was basing that on since I barely did more than say hello and ask her how she was doing every time I saw her. Was hi, how are you? a basis for a love for the ages?

When our parents had tried to throw us together on occasion, I'd outmaneuvered them or just straight out declined. Not once had I ever taken Cressie as my plus one anywhere or on a date or even out for coffee.

Yet I was expected to propose to her and build a life with this relative stranger as my wife. Have children with her. I figured there'd be time enough to get to know each other after we were married, when I could no longer avoid her. But not a moment before I had to accept that she was my future.

Then Ally had entered my life, and I didn't know what to fucking think. Everything I'd believed all my life, everything I'd assumed would happen ceased to exist. Life was bright and clear with Ally, something fun to be enjoyed instead of simply endured. I understood what love was and with that realization came the pain of knowing I'd have to give her up and live without her brightness.

That couldn't happen. So out of desperation, I'd suggested Ally become my mistress after I got married. That had been a fucking mess...and rightly so.

After that clusterfuck, she was ignoring all my overtures to apologize and wouldn't answer my calls or texts. I'd approached her once at work and she'd rightfully shut that down. I couldn't make her uncomfortable in her work environment, but every fucking day I wanted to go into her office and remind her why we were so damn good together. She definitely ignored my attempts at wishing her happy birthday, refusing to even eat a slice of her favorite cake. The gold and diamond musical notes necklace I'd couriered to her for her birthday had been returned unopened and marked RETURN TO THE STUPID SENDER in big angry letters.

Which brought me to today, my own birthday. My family was gathered in the giant family room, as was Cressie's family. We'd have dinner in an hour, followed by a birthday party for me that would also be part engagement party. Since my grandfather was unable to make it downstairs for the festivities, I'd gone up to his room for a few minutes to get away from everyone. To get away from Cressie's triumphant eyes. She'd always told me that I couldn't avoid her forever, and she was fucking right, but I'd sure as hell avoided her as long as possible.

"It's a hard thing, making sacrifices for family. For business," he'd said. "But I worry since you were the only child. Since she was. What would happen to the company?"

He lapsed into a horrible coughing fit, but waved off his nurse.

"Papou," I said when it passed. "You mustn't worry yourself."

"I worry about you. I loved your grandmother. I don't see love when you look at her."

"I don't love her," I told him honestly. "But I'm willing to do what I need to."