The little things about us

Prologue

I walked through the dark rainy night, my feet leading me to nowhere. No destination in mind.

I watched my shadow follow me as the street lights illuminated the sidewalk.

The trickle of rain hitting the puddles of water on the road, no sounds of cars... no sounds of life. Just me alone in this darkness.

With drenched clothes making me slower, I thought to myself... The irony of this scene; a reflection of what's inside of me.

I felt empty. My soul sleeping on me as it has for years now. My heart replaced with bricks of stone, heaviness in my chest and barely breathing.

Every breath of mine took an effort draining the bits of energy I didn't even know I carried.

How did we get here?

''You gave up on me!'' She shouted so loud and I knew the kids could hear.

The veins on her forehead and neck visible as she held back a cry. Her eyes were erythematous and wet, cheeks stained with both dry and wet tears.

''You don't have any love for me anymore!'' She continued, clenching her eyes shut as she grabbed her hair. With a fist, she pulled it away from her face and turned her back to me.

Why did she say that?

I never knew I gave her such indications. I knew the marriage wasn't perfect but was it that bad?

''I want a divorce...'' She whispered. I couldn't even hear her properly but I understood the last word.

Her arms were hugging her body tightly, comforting her as my own couldn't.

I heard how difficult it was to mutter those words but I had to hear it again.

''What? What did you say?'' I approached her, treading carefully to move closer.

I wanted to hold her but she was fire now and I am ice cold. I would melt if I touched her. Evaporate if I fought.

''You heard me.'' She hissed, looking out the window, guarding her face from my view.

I can't even look at my wife anymore?

'''S-Say it while looking at me then.'' My voice almost betrayed me. I cannot let her see the effect those words had on me.

The sound of rain started outside. It was light minutes ago but grew heavier this mere second.

I could see the tip of her nose and her glossy eyes reflecting on the window.

She hesitated and I hoped she wouldn't turn but that hope disintegrated as she turned swiftly.

Almond shaped brown eyes glaring at me. A sharp jaw clenching with nostrils flaring with rage.

''Divorce me.'' As tough as she looked, she didn't sound the same. Her voice was broken, pained and full of malicious intent to crush my heart and oh, she did crush.

I knew in that moment; she meant what she said.

Regardless of her physical state, her mind was set. The decision has been made by her.

To end our love story.

After 15 years of unperfected love, happiness with small clouds of sorrow, easy waves and harder ones, we couldn't get through this one.

I turned and walked out that front door.

I asked myself again.

How did we get here?