Love in Focus (BxB)

17) Morning After

The next morning, Alex woke up with a mix of emotions swirling in his mind. He lay still for a moment, listening to Jamie's steady breathing beside him. The weight of Jamie's confession of love hung heavy on his heart, filling him with both warmth and a sense of overwhelming responsibility.

He turned to look at Jamie, who was still asleep, his face peaceful in the early morning light. Alex's heart ached with affection, but alongside it, a gnawing anxiety tugged at him.

What if he couldn't live up to Jamie's love?

What if he let him down?

Their relationship was still so new. Too new for it to be love. Real love. They had only known each other for about two months—a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things.

Alex remembered the early days with Samantha, how blissful those first two months had been. They'd been inseparable. Their friends teased them for being too cute. For being too perfect. The golden couple. And then, after nearly five years, a diamond ring on her finger, a date set, a venue booked, everything fell apart.

Love was a fickle thing. Fleeting. And Alex couldn't help but feel... suspicious.

Was Jamie wonderful? Yes. And astounding yes.

But was it love?

It was too early to say.

Yet, Jamie had said it. And now it was out there for Alex to think about. To contemplate. To reflect on.

They spent the morning in a comfortable silence, sharing a morning meal on the deck of their bed and breakfast. Alex stirred his coffee absentmindedly, his thoughts a whirlwind of doubts and fears. Jamie didn't even know that Alex was bisexual. He didn't know all of Alex yet, so how could it really be love? Heck, Alex didn't even know all of Jamie yet.

Jamie, ever perceptive, didn't press for conversation, instead focusing on his own plate and occasionally glancing up to check on Alex. "How's your omelet?" Jamie asked gently, trying to break the silence.

Alex looked up, forcing a small smile. "It's good. How's yours?"

"Delicious," Jamie replied, his eyes soft with understanding. "I thought maybe after breakfast we could take a walk by the lake. Clear our heads a bit."

Alex nodded, appreciating Jamie's patience and the space he was giving him to process his feelings. "That sounds nice."

They finished their meal and made their way to the lake, the cool morning air refreshing against their skin. The lake was calm, its surface reflecting the clear blue sky above. They walked in silence for a while, the tranquility of the scene soothing Alex's troubled mind.

But as they walked, Alex's internal struggle became more apparent. He couldn't shake the feeling of being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship and the pressure to reciprocate Jamie's feelings fully. His heart raced with each step, his thoughts spiraling. Jamie seemed so sure, so ready to commit. But had Jamie even ever been in love before?

Jamie finally broke the silence, his voice gentle. "Alex, what's on your mind?"

Alex hesitated, his eyes fixed on the path ahead. He took a deep breath, deciding to be honest. "I'm scared, Jamie. I'm scared of how fast things are moving and the intensity of our relationship. I don't know if I'm ready for this."

Jamie stopped walking and turned to face Alex, his expression filled with concern and understanding. "It's okay to be scared, Alex. We don't have to rush anything. We can take things at your pace."

Alex looked into Jamie's eyes, feeling a mix of relief and guilt. "But you said you love me, Jamie. That means so much to me, but it also feels like a lot of pressure. What if I can't live up to your expectations? What if I let you down?"

Jamie stepped closer, taking Alex's hands in his. "Alex, my love for you is unconditional. I don't expect you to be perfect. I love you for who you are, not for who you think you need to be. We can figure this out together, one step at a time."

Alex swallowed. He wished Jamie would stop using that word. Love.

They continued their walk, the conversation lingering in the air between them. Alex remembered how devastated he had been when his engagement to Samantha had ended. The thought of going through something like that again was almost unbearable.

Before he could let himself fall in love with Jamie, he had to know things would be different than with Samantha. And two months just wasn't enough time to prove that.

After the lake, they packed their bags and drove back home. As he drove, Alex glanced over at Jamie, who was gazing out the window, lost in his own thoughts.

Jamie hadn't done anything wrong. Alex had planned the trip. Had wanted to let Jamie know how much he was enjoying this new relationship. He was the one who needed to do the work. Needed to confront his insecurities and fears.

As they pulled into Alex's driveway, he made a silent promise to himself. He would work through his issues, confront his fears, and strive to meet Jamie's love with the same intensity and commitment. It wouldn't be easy, but he owed it to Jamie—and to himself—to try.

They got out of the car, and Jamie turned to Alex with a hopeful smile. "Thank you again for this weekend. It was perfect."

Alex reached out and pulled Jamie into an intimate hug. He inhaled, taking in Jamie's comforting scent. The warmth of his body.

He wasn't ready to say it out loud, or even to fully admit it to himself, but this was a man who he could feel himself falling in love with this man. He just needed a bit more time.

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