Love in Focus (BxB)

21) Fractured Trust

Alex stared at his phone, the glow of the screen casting a soft light in the dimly lit bookshop. It was Friday, and he hadn't seen Jamie since their argument. The silence between them felt like an unspoken agreement to take a step back, to think things over. Yet, the longer Alex went without seeing Jamie, the more the uncertainty gnawed at him.

The week had been torturous. Customers came and went, their faces blurring together as Alex mechanically rang up purchases and restocked shelves. Everything felt off-kilter. The comforting routine of his life seemed meaningless without the anticipation of seeing Jamie.

He sighed deeply, feeling a wave of sadness wash over him. Things had been going so perfectly, and now it felt like everything was unraveling. He couldn't decide who was more to blame—Jamie for saying the L-word so quickly, or himself for how he'd reacted. He stared at his phone, heart pounding, and finally decided to text Jamie.

Alex: Hey, can we talk? Come over for dinner tonight? We can order something in.

He hit send before he could second-guess himself. Almost immediately, the anxiety kicked in, making his stomach churn. He busied himself with tidying up the bookshop, trying to keep his mind off the impending conversation.

Hours later, as the sun dipped below the horizon, Alex found himself pacing in his living room. The doorbell rang, and his heart skipped a beat. He opened the door to find Jamie standing there, looking both hopeful and hesitant.

"Hey," Jamie said softly, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Hey," Alex replied, stepping aside to let him in.

The air between them was heavy with unspoken tension, like a storm cloud ready to burst. They made small talk as they settled on the couch, discussing what to order for dinner.

"So, what are you in the mood for?" Alex asked, his voice straining to sound casual.

"Anything's fine," Jamie replied, staring at his phone screen. "What about Thai?"

"Sure," Alex agreed, trying to catch Jamie's eye. "How about the pad thai and maybe some spring rolls?"

"Yeah, whatever you think," Jamie said, his tone clipped. He kept his gaze fixed on the coffee table, fiddling with a coaster.

Alex frowned, feeling the distance between them like a physical barrier. "Jamie, are you okay? You seem... different."

Jamie forced a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm fine. Just tired, I guess."

Alex nodded, though he wasn't convinced. They went through the motions of placing the order, but the usual ease and warmth in their interactions were conspicuously absent. Every word felt like it was weighed down by the unresolved tension between them.

As they sat back on the couch, Alex tried again. "Any interesting photo shoots?"

"Not really," Jamie replied, still avoiding eye contact. "Just the usual stuff. A baby shower. An engagement. You know how it is."

Alex sighed, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. "Jamie, my relationship with Samantha is ancient history. Please, you have to know that I'm not in love with her still."

Jamie's shoulders tensed, but he didn't respond immediately. He finally looked up, meeting Alex's gaze for the first time that evening, and the pain in his eyes was unmistakable. "Alex, there is something I need to tell you, but I don't know how."

The words hung in the air between them, and Alex felt his heart rate quicken. "Whatever it is, just tell me. We can't keep dancing around it."

Jamie took a deep breath, his hands trembling slightly as he reached for his glass of water. "Alex, I... I almost kissed Mark. Well, I guess I sort of did kiss him, but it...was barely a peck, and it..." He paused, the confession hanging heavy in the room. "It was a mistake. I was emotional and had too much wine. It didn't mean anything, I swear."

Alex felt like the ground had been pulled out from under him. His mind swirled with disbelief and hurt. "Last week you told me you love me... Is this what you think love is, Jamie?" His voice was barely above a whisper, the words tinged with pain.

Jamie's tears began to fall, and he wiped them away furiously. "No, Alex. I was confused and hurt after our fight. I wasn't thinking straight. Please, I'm so sorry. I want to move on from this. I want us to continue exploring what we have."

Alex felt a lump rise in his throat. He had been ready to talk things through, to admit that he has been falling for Jamie, too. But this revelation felt like a betrayal too deep to overlook. "My trust is too fragile for this, Jamie. We were just starting, and you... you did this."

Jamie's face crumpled, the weight of his actions crashing down on him. "I understand if you need time. I just... I didn't want to hide it from you. I wanted to be honest."

Before Alex could respond, the doorbell rang again. The food delivery. Jamie stood up, wiping his eyes as he walked to the door. He took the bag from the delivery driver and handed it to Alex, their fingers brushing briefly.

"I'm sorry, Alex," Jamie said, his voice barely audible.

Then he turned and walked out the door, leaving Alex standing there, holding the warm food that now felt cold in his hands. Alex watched him go, a sense of loss settling deep in his chest. He wondered if this was truly the end of something that had barely begun, and as the door closed behind Jamie, Alex was left to grapple with the emptiness that filled the room.

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