Eternal Souls

NIGHTMARE.

ARSHAD

It has been two weeks and four days since we returned back to Nigeria and now everyone was back to their normal life routine. I was back at work, while Halima on the other hand was always at home, trying out new baking recipes, planning her café launching which she's been procrastinating on. On days she was not doing anything she would visit either Ibtisam or Maami. I always made sure she was not alone, it made her deep how much she missed her parents, and the last thing I want in this life is to see her disturbed because of that.

The past few weeks have been a bit rough. Halima has been having those nightmares constantly, almost every night since we returned. Each time, she wakes up drenched in sweat, eyes wide with terror. When I try to ask her about it, she just shuts down completely. It was as if she flipped a switch, and suddenly she was this cold, distant person. It's frustrating because I know she is struggling, hurting, and anything you can think of, but I don't know what to do to help her, and I don't want to press a lot to the point I push her to the wall. Still, I can't stand watching her suffer in silence.

Last night was unusually very bad. I was on my laptop catching up on some office work when I heard her wailing from her bedroom, and my heart literally sank and stopped at that instant. I rushed in and found her nestled, thrashing around as if fighting off some invisible threat. "NO, DON'T! NO!! PLEASE NO!" she shouted, her voice breaking down with fear. "I'M SORRY, WALLAH. PLEASE, PLEASE NOT AGAIN."

Seeing her in that situation literally tore me apart, it made me feel things I've never felt, shattered, defeated, you just name it. I approached her slowly, trying not to terrify her or add to what she was already going through. I gently touched her leg, but she recoiled, screaming, "Don't!! PLEASE STOP. DON'T TOUCH ME! HELP! HELP!! AMMIEY!!! DAADA!!!"

I grabbed her shoulders and shook her, hoping to snap her out of it. "Halima, open your eyes," I yelled, desperation creeping into my voice. It was as if she was trapped in some dark place, unable to escape. With no other choice, I slapped her cheek lightly.

"I'm so sorry hayati, but I had to." She gasped, her eyes finally focusing on me. "Arshad!!" she cried, and then she immediately puked, but that was the least of my worries at that moment. I pulled her into my arms, and she clung to me, shaking uncontrollably. "Don't leave me here, please. Take me away from here. Please, please, please," she kept repeating.

"Shhh," I soothed, rubbing her back gently. "It's okay, everything is fine now. I'm here, I'm here. 'ana asf Hayati; I'm sorry hayati." We sat there for quite a long time, her breathing gradually slowing as she calmed down. I carefully picked her up and carried her to the bathroom, avoiding turning on the light to give her some privacy. I removed her nightgown, replaced it with a robe, and then carried her to my room. There was no way on earth I was going to leave her alone in that room.

I laid her down on my bed and went to change my clothes. When I returned, I climbed into bed beside her, pulling her close. I whispered prayers over her, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. I fell asleep with her in my arms, but when I woke up, she was gone.

Sighing, I got up and went to the bathroom. I knew she would leave as soon as she woke up. I hadn't slept that well in a long time, sleeping with her while cuddling just felt really peaceful, it felt like home. After my morning routine, I went downstairs, determined to get some answers today. We couldn't keep going like this, every time I asked what was wrong she would give me some silly excuse that I'm sure even Ahlam would know it was made up. Excuses like "I forgot to say my sleeping adkhars." "I saw a cockroach in my dreams." Like??