lovely | billie eilish

10 | Music Video

Back at my dorm, I set my bags down, and made an effort to hold on to the sense of ease from my trip. The room was peaceful, only interrupted by the soft hum of the air conditioner. I took a deep breath, sat on the edge of my bed, and stared at my phone. It felt like a weight in my hand, but I knew I had to call Billie and get some answers.

With a steady hand, I unlocked my phone and found Billie's number. My heart pounded as I hit the call button and waited for her to pick up. Each ring felt like an eternity.

"Violet!" Billie's voice was immediate, filled with relief and urgency. "I've been going crazy trying to reach you."

"Hey, Billie," I said, my voice sounding calmer than I felt, despite the storm of emotions swirling inside me.

"Please, let me explain," Billie said quickly. "Those pictures you saw... they're from a music video. I swear, it's all for the video."

I felt a mix of relief and lingering doubt. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? I had to find out from paparazzi pictures."

"I'm so sorry," Billie said, her voice trembling slightly. "I didn't think it would blow up like this. I should have told you, but I got so caught up in the project. I never meant to hurt you."

I took a deep breath, trying to process her words. "I was crushed, Billie. Seeing those pictures made me question everything."

"I understand, and I'm really sorry, Vi," she said. "You're the only one I care about. Please believe that."

I sighed, feeling conflicted. "I want to believe you, Billie, but those pictures made it hard for me to trust what you're saying without proof."

"Come over and see the footage," Billie offered. "I want you to see it for yourself so you know I'm telling the truth."

"Okay," I agreed. "I'll come over."

Billie let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Violet. I can't wait to see you."

We ended the call, and I sat there for a moment, trying to steady my nerves. The silence of my dorm room felt heavy, the quiet a clear contrast to the whirlwind of emotions I was experiencing. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door, determined to see for myself and get the answers I needed.

The drive to the studio where they had been filming the music video felt endless. My thoughts were tangled, and the city lights outside seemed to drift by slowly. I kept my attention fixed on the road, trying to steady myself as I made my way to the studio.

When I arrived, Billie was waiting at the door, her blue eyes reflecting a mix of hope and anxiety. She looked both relieved and apprehensive. "Hi, Vi," she said softly. "Thanks for coming."

I nodded, trying to keep my expression neutral. "I need to see this for myself."

"Of course," she replied, guiding me inside. The studio was filled with the scent of freshly painted sets and the faint hum of equipment still in use. We walked through a maze of corridors until we reached a small screening room.

Billie had set up her laptop on a table in the dimly lit room, casting a warm glow. The atmosphere was tense, the quiet only interrupted by the occasional distant noise from the studio.

She sat down beside me, her fingers trembling slightly as she opened the video file. "I want you to see everything," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

As the footage played, I watched the scenes unfold. Billie, in various costumes and settings, performing with the passion and intensity I had always admired. The music video was vibrant and energetic, the sets and choreography reflecting the high production value I had expected.

Then, the moment I had been dreading appeared on the screen: Billie kissing another girl. I forced myself to keep watching, the context of the scene gradually becoming clearer. It was evident that the kiss was part of the storyline, a dramatic element intended to enhance the narrative of the video.

Billie paused the video and turned to me, her eyes searching mine for any sign of understanding. "This is what I wanted to explain. It's all acting, Vi. It means nothing."

I looked at Billie, trying to process her words with the image still fresh in my mind. The separation between performance and reality was challenging to navigate. "It's hard to separate the performance from reality. Seeing you kiss someone else—"

"I know," Billie interrupted gently. "It's not just about the video. I should have been honest with you from the start. I didn't realize how much it would hurt you. I should have been more considerate."

I took a deep breath, searching for the right words. "I was completely caught off guard. I thought we were on the same page, and then I saw those pictures and felt like everything changed."

Billie reached out, her hand brushing mine with a softness that contrasted her previous tension. "I understand why you're hurt. I regret not being more straightforward from the beginning. Let me fix this. I don't want this to drive us apart."

Her touch made me realize how much I missed her. Despite my pain, I could see she was sincere. "Alright," I said finally. "I trust you, but we need to improve our communication."

Billie nodded, relief washing over her face. "I promise, Violet. I'll be completely honest with you moving forward."

We continued talking for a few more hours, the initial tension gradually giving way to a more relaxed and open dialogue. Her presence and genuine efforts to make amends brought me comfort, the weight of misunderstanding slowly lifting. As the night progressed, I began to feel hopeful about the future of our relationship.

Eventually, Billie walked me to my car. The cool night air was a welcome contrast to the warmth of the studio. "Thank you for coming tonight," she said softly. "I really do care about you, and I don't want to lose you over this."

I smiled slightly, feeling more at ease than I had in days. The uncertainty that had clouded my thoughts was beginning to clear. "I care about you too, Billie."

As I turned to get in the car, Billie stepped closer and gently brushed her lips against mine in a soft, lingering kiss. "Goodnight," she whispered, her breath warm on my skin.