You were not looking for love. You had it, and it was the best thing that had ever happened to you. And it was taken away. Leaving you grieving with two kids. But you finally made it to Florida and the place he had always to retire to. Living on an...
Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, PIV sex, oral sex (F receiving), cum eating, mentions of an unwanted pregnancy, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 4.6K
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Your fingers tap on your desk rhythmically. A jaunty little diddy that's been in your head, and you're trying to find a perfect combination of jumps. Triple lutz. No, double axel for that beat. Over and over in your head before you angrily huff, and burst out of your chair. You're not a skater anymore. That dream was taken away from you. Not really. You chose this life.
Tanzy needed you though, and you needed her in ways that nobody knew. The first time you held her you couldn't even breathe. It was such a struggle, and Mike offered so many times to hold her while you centered yourself, but you wanted to just look at her perfect little features. Her fingernails already had white tips on them, giving her the look of a manicure. The way her hair curled perfectly around her face, framing her sweet features and making her look like a doll.
You were always the one that would make sure her bum didn't get diaper rashes. Mike took on the financial burden more. He was present, but you were the main caregiver. Until you were the only caregiver.
You weren't going to fail this time. You promised yourself and Tanzy that you would not fail. And then you did. You couldn't raise her alone, and now you're back here. With the guilt and shame of how much you failed. And no big brother to talk it through with. You couldn't tell your parents because they wouldn't understand.
You sigh, falling onto your bed face first. You need a bigger one. What adult sleeps in a small full size bed? What adult that was geared to be on the Olympic team, and end up back in their parents house? You hate yourself. Always making every mistake. Because you can't get the routine right.
You feel a dip down on the bed on both sides of your body. Twisting your head to the side, you view his fist pressing into the bed. "Raleigh, go away."
"Why?" you groan as his weight settles on you. Not his full weight, but enough to ground you. "You're in your head, Pix. Just breathe. Life isn't a routine. And you don't have to be perfect to be amazing."
He always said the most appropriate things. He noticed you when life was moving all around you. He'd stop what he was doing just to make sure you weren't having a a mild breakdown. His nose nuzzles into your neck. Heating up your skin, and you sigh so long. Sliding your hands up to meet his, and he grabs ahold of them. You begin to relax in his awkward embrace. You didn't deserve him.
You lost count of how many times Raleigh had to do just this. Encase you in his warmth and weight. Like he was a wall of protection from the outside world, "Pix, what happened?"
