Anika placed her cup on the railing, moving away from it. She exhaled deeply. It was early in the morning and her husband was surprisingly sleeping. She turned around to look at him, he was lying in the same position, his eyes closed. He looked so at peace. A small smile made its way to her face as her heart clenched.
She sent a prayer heavenwards, for him.
She took the cup, sipping her green tea. An almost tasteless drink, she had grown to love. Her thoughts wandered back to the two other people living in the house.
Om and Ru.
Anika couldn't help but inhale again. She still couldn't believe it. They were here, in flesh, in their house. Yesterday was like a dream, a beautifully unrealistic one. It would be false to say that she hadn't ever thought that they would meet again. Yet, she never thought they would meet like this. Every time she thought about this, meeting them again, it was always them - Shivaay and her, going to India, because they couldn't live without the family anymore.
But the truth is, no matter how much we love someone, we always find a way to live without them.
That was what Anika Shivaay Singh Oberoi had learnt over the span of three years. They had pretended, pretended and pretended until they could no more. In those dark nights, whenever she closed her eyes, she could hear the shouting, the yelling, the sound of things being thrown, sobbing, crying and breaking.
It was her own voice,
own cries,
own sobs.
All those times when she pushed him away, locked herself., but what was his fault? She now wondered.
"Don't do this to me, Anika. Mai marr jaunga," (I will die) those were his exact words when she had locked herself and tried to slit the nerves of her wrist. After that day, they minimized their conversations. Oh, not they, only her. She closed her eyes, remembering all those times he asked about her day and she replied with a fine. All her nonchalance, terse replies, all the things she did to hurt him. Where did it take them?
Nowhere.
Guilt was an overwhelming emotion, it weighed us down.
She felt a lot more than guilt, a lot, lot more.
"Anika? What happened? Why are you crying?" Anika moved her head to the side, seeing her husband standing beside her, holding her arm in one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other.
"What happened?" he asked, pulling her to himself. Anika could feel a lump forming in her throat. She didn't think before she buried her head in his chest. Sobs erupted from her, making Shivaay worried.
"What happened, Anika?"
"I am sorry," she cried. "I am so so sorry, Shivaay!"
Pain flashed through Shivaay's eyes, God.
"You pain will kill me one day, Anika," he mumbled as he buried his nose in her hair.
***
Gauri poured some milk tea in the cup, before instructing the stuff about the day's menu.
"Aur ha, dadi ke khane mein gajar mat daalna aur-" (and yes, don't add carrots in grandmother's food) she stopped as Pinky entered the kitchen, For the past three years, Gauri couldn't bring herself to look into Pinky's eyes.
