Bound By It (Xianwang)

For The Better

Lan Wangji

A month has passed, and my life has taken a completely different turn since that day. That day, Mr. Wei called me aside to discuss two things. The first: I was no longer to call them Pa and Ma, or the Jiang couple Uncle and Aunt. The second: Due to the limited number of rooms in the house, they decided that until Yanli-jie left for her new job, I would have to stay in the small, dark room near the kitchen, which was currently being used as a storeroom.

Cheng-ge and Yanli-jie hadn't expected this from their parents, but with no other options, they helped me clean and arrange the room. They set up an old cupboard and a small bed, doing their best to make it livable.

The room was suffocatingly small, its walls closing in on me the moment I stepped inside. It was dark and cold, with only a tiny window that let in just enough sunlight to see around. The air was stale, carrying the faint scent of stored items long forgotten. I told myself it was only temporary, that once Yanli-jie left, I would move into her room and things would get better.

But a few days later, Cheng-ge moved to another city to manage the newly opened hotel branch. Yanli-jie left a week after that, reminding me before she went to move my things into her room so that I could use it in her absence. I clung to that thought, believing that once she was gone, I would finally have a more comfortable place to stay.

However, when I finally folded my clothes neatly into a bag and carried it towards her room, only to see it being locked by Mr.Jiang. Who immediately turned around and left with the key not even bothered about my presence. 

It was as if I were invisible in that house. In the beginning, there wasn't much for me to do, nor did anyone seem to care whether I was there or not. I would linger around, trying to find a way to make myself useful, to prove that I wasn't a burden. Thankfully, in an effort to help me get along with his Ma, Xian-ge had once suggested that I assist her in the kitchen. Because of that, I was able to cook every day, and in doing so, I had slowly, indirectly taken up that job. But it didn't stop there.

One day, I had offered to help Mrs. Jiang with the cleaning. I thought it might be a way to ease some of the tension, to show that I wanted to contribute. But when Mrs. Wei saw me cleaning, that became my job too. From then on, I was expected to clean the house daily, without complaint or acknowledgment.

Every day, Mrs. Wei would unlock Yanli-jie's room for me, only so I could clean it. Never once did she offer to let me use it.

I remember once, after finishing all the cleaning and cooking for the day, I went out into the garden to water the plants. The air outside was a welcome change from the stifling atmosphere in the house. But when Mr. and Mrs. Wei saw me, they were furious. They were almost ready to kill me for it. They forbade me from stepping outside again, their anger sharp and fierce. It wasn't concern for me that drove their reaction—it was fear that someone might see me. As if they didn't want anyone to know I existed.

Though I called home and texted Xian-ge every day, I never told them what was really happening here. I couldn't bring myself to worry him, not when he was so far away and busy with his new life. To him, and to everyone else who cared about me—my best friend, my father, Aunty—it seemed like things were getting better between me and my in-laws. They believed that I was finally being accepted into the family.

At least they still thought of me as their son-in-law right? That's what I believed... until the day a young lady came to the house asking to meet Xian-ge.

Mrs. Wei's treatment of her was like night and day compared to how she treated me. She looked at the young woman with admiration, her smile warm and welcoming, a look I wished she would at least pretend to give me. They spoke about Xian-ge's departure and how she had missed him, as if she were someone really important to the family.