My Blank Slate

Chapter Twelve.

Notes- TW for SH mention. I'm never graphic but this is may be a hard chapter for some people, stay safe everyone x (if you saw me update this to the wrong fanfic no you didnt.)

''Oh give over, of course you can kiddo.'' Chef opened her arms before tightly scooping the younger woman into an embrace. Unlike Marjorie's hugs, which were soft and tender, Chef's hugs were more secure and firm which was a real comfort at this moment in time, as if Chef were the only thing holding the pieces of Sara together.

After a while, Chef gave Sara one last tight squeeze, before bringing her out with her arms to look at her properly. Chef examined her for a moment, before ruffling her hair and patting her back gently. ''Come on, let's get these plates washed kiddo.''

One thing Sara liked about Chef was that she never forced her into talking about anything. She was always there for her, but never felt like she had to share anything that she was uncomfortable with.

After that day, Sara and Chef formed a silent bond. Although the older woman would never admit it, she had come to consider Sara like a child, and was often found to be protective over her. When a parent shouted? ''It's not her fault you have impossible standards to keep up with!'' When Head office got mad they had low stock ''it's not her fault the vendor ran out'' Chef had simply decided that Sara was her responsibility to care for. And Sara was the only person she let call her Debbie.

A few weeks go by, and on a particularly uneventful day Chef takes the moment to check in on her new friend. ''You haven't talked about what happened a few weeks ago, which is fine take your time, just know you're not alone.'' Sara looked up from what she was doing, a shocked expression donning her face as if she was caught in some imaginary act she had committed. ''I don't need to talk. It was months ago, I am over it.'' I should be over it.

''Kiddo trauma isn't something you just 'get over', you need to talk about your feelings.'' Chef spoke, gently, trying not to push the girl any further. Sara, however, did not see it like that and in a moment of defensiveness, snapped. ''What like you talk about your feelings? You are like THE most mysterious person in this entire nursery.''

Sara braced herself for anything. A slap, a screaming match on how not to speak to her elders, a show of disappointment that the woman who had gone out of her way to protect her was being treated like that. Instead, Chef just sighed, before slowly rolling up her left sleeve.

''When I was your age, maybe a few years younger, I was with a man who treated me absolutely horribly. His words were never kind, he didn't have time for me, he told me anything I liked about myself wasn't true. Even though he never got physical, he left scars.''

Sara looked down at Chef's arm for a moment before looking up at her with sad eyes. ''You did them? Like on purpose?'' Chef gave Sara a sad, nostalgic smile before nodding slightly. ''It's a habit I kicked long ago, with the right support. I know I seem like the mysterious type but if I didn't have people like Maud to confide in I really wouldn't be here today. Just remember, don't be afraid to talk to people.''

As Chef turned away to carry on cleaning the kitchen she hears a small, soft voice call her name, and as she turned around she saw Sara fiddling with the end sleeves of her shirt nervously. ''Yes kiddo?''

And then Sara told her everything.

Hi! I just wanted to come on here and say that if you relate to anything in this chapter, or the story in general, you are valid. Whatever you're going through is not your fault, and you deserve love, kindness and respect. Although it may not seem like it now, you are NOT alone and there will always be someone who cares. It's always worth fighting. Stay safe I love you all x