Tempestuous

8.

Leo found himself very distracted. His raging thoughts would never let him get anything done at all.

He couldn't focus on life, on his job, even serving himself a glass of water in the morning was too difficult a task.

At random times, his vision would blur and colors would swirl around his head. He felt as though he were floating away, carried off by a numb feeling he couldn't quite describe.

All he knew was that he couldn't function. When he got home one day, before even saying hi to Angel, he ran to his bed, and collapsed. All his exhaustion, all his thoughts, everything, had just gathered up into one, big flop.

He slept for the rest of the day and straight on till morning.

Angel seemed a bit worried about the whole thing. Leo noticed that he'd been more attentive lately, more interested in Leo than he'd been before. It was weird, but he kinda liked the attention.

"I'm picking up some fresh fruits at the market for you, Leo."

"Would you like to go out for a dinner tonight? There's this new place and I'd like to try it."

"Breakfast is on the table, when you're ready."

"When'd you go to bed last night? If you're having trouble sleeping, I can get you some lavender essence."

"Too much work lately? You should take it easier for a bit."

"I got your mail for you. I knew you probably wouldn't have enough time."

And at times it just ended up in, "Leo, are you okay?" He always just...dismissed his questions. Yes, he did go to the dinner. Yes, he did say thank you for the advice and the help. Yes, he appreciated Angel's efforts. But it seemed as if no matter what Angel did, nothing changed.

Leo felt a color he couldn't recall. Maybe it wasn't a color at all. Maybe, it was a shade. That was something he hadn't felt in a while. He felt...black.

He wanted to feel colorful. He wanted to smell and touch and taste and hear the rainbow as it ran through his veins, and for some odd reason, no luck. Why did he feel so empty, so dark, so abstract in a lack of color?

That was just another question that, didn't have answer.

Angel, on the other hand, felt bright. Everything was an exciting, curious mystery. He was certainly enjoying life. It was as though he was seeing everything under a new light, a new perspective. It was amazing. All those colors Leo had told him about, they came to life in his mind. He could feel the blue in the days where him and Leo would sit on a chilly day reading books in the living room, smelled the red when Leo made him those little cinnamon pastries he forgot the name of. Heard the green when the birds would chirp in the morning and Leo would open the windows to get some fresh air. And, tasted the brown in the beets Leo would bring home and cook because they were "good for the heart".

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that all of this surrounded Leo. Having Leo in his life, made Angel feel this way. He couldn't lose him. That's why he tried his best to keep him rooted to the ground, not let him fall under this blackness he was currently sinking in. It worried him so much.

So he'd look out for him. In a subtle way. Like, leaving the keys where he knew Leo would see them so that he wouldn't misplace or forget them.
He'd make his bed in the morning because he knew Leo would never get around to it.
He'd leave a mug of hot tea on his nightstand at night for when he'd hear Leo's cries in the middle of the night and he knew he was having nightmares.
He'd try to get Leo out of the house from time to time so his work wouldn't pull him under with stress.
He'd cook all his meals and leave them there, reminding him to eat because he would usually forget.
He'd call him from time to time while he was out, and make small conversation in case there was ever a situation in which he needed him.
He'd bring him coffee and a lunch to work because he noticed that he rarely ate outside of the house.

Small things that would hopefully make his life easier, and keep Leo in his life. It may have seemed like a nice thing to do, but in a reality, it was rather selfish. The main reason he did it was for himself, because he needed Leo. What a horrible human being he was.

But their life remained this way. For, a while. And no matter what Angel did, he could feel Leo slipping away. Slowly. It was like trying to hold water in your hands. Useless effort.

But after a while, and thinking for quite a long time about the subject, Angel finally made a breakthrough. He cared a lot about Leo. Maybe it wasn't so selfish after all.

Did it really matter how he cared for him? Whether it was friendly or not, that was irrelevant. All he knew was that he wanted to be there for him, and make him happy. That was his ultimate goal, and to Angel, that's the basic definition of caring for someone.

So, yes. He cared for Leo.