Markom

6: Let them think you try | Perri

Perri was lucky to be alive; or, at least, that's what she told herself as she fought through the pain. Her throat felt stuck, roaring with soreness as her aching ribs and darkening bruises helped string the memories from last night together. The climb. Quiet moments with Benja. The Iurers. And - her second Mark. The memories were fuzzy, like a dream that she couldn't quite place, but they were present - leading her down a rabbit hole of wonderings that threatened to separate her brain from her skull.

But first, breakfast. Perri groaned as she rolled over in her cot. Strangely, she didn't remember coming home last night. The youngest Viate girl, Aanli, was huddled over the small range. Even the smoke couldn't hide the fact that she was positively fuming. Science help them all! Meanwhile, her Papaa had his hands tied in a tangled mess of wires at the foot of the table.

The tension was thick but Perri did her best to break it. "Mush, how delightful." She managed as she took a seat across from Papaa, a strained smile on her lips. Aanli looked up at her harshly and then back at the pot.

"No actually." The smaller girl said without looking beyond the range. Aanli scooped up the mixture into three bowls and Papaa cleared his throat.

"Aanli managed to scrounge up some oats - and a little bit of real milk - for some porridge." Perri shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Oats were hard to come by for Fives, even in black market circles. She couldn't imagine what her sister had done for this kind of send-off. And she had ruined it all. "She's resourceful that one." Perri couldn't decide which hurt more - Aanli's cold shoulder or her own throbbing shoulder.

"It's nothing." Definitely the cold shoulder. Perri reached up to massage her burning temples. Everything was so foggy, it was like her body wouldn't, no couldn't move.

"Well, thank you," Perri said softly. "Aanli -- really -- thank you."

"It was nothing." She said harshly, sliding a bowl to Papaa first and then to her older sister. Perri looked around. This place would feel so empty tomorrow. Even if she was lucky to be Placed at all, it might take months or even years before she was able to visit. The ever dutiful eldest Viate, Erdre had only been able to visit a couple of times. And Moniq -- well they were lucky to get an annual letter from her.

Starting tomorrow, everything would be different. She would have her own responsibilities among her own grouping. They ate their Porridge in silence, each bite burning with the uncertainty of the future and the sad realization that the past would never be returned to.

"I don't understand how you could do it," Aanli hissed once Papaa had left the room for the outhouse out back. Perri nearly choked on her oats. She tried to feign surprise but Perri knew that her ignorance would only upset Aanli more.

"It wasn't my choice..." She started. But it was. Didn't she practically beg them to beat her to a pulp? "Or I didn't mean to," Perri corrected.

"You knew it was a risk climbing every week. I suppose I should just be grateful you didn't break your neck." Perri was so taken aback she nearly felt her appetite vanish. Nearly. Aanli cleared her throat, a sick taunt lacing her words. "Your luck was bound to finally catch up with you, Perri. Good on you. Now we'll never see you."

"You don't know that." Perri tried to rationalize, tried to dream of any reality that might numb the pain she felt insight. But she knew that her sister was right. She had been selfish. Stupid. And she had surely paid the price.

"Easy for you to say. You've always known everything. Science it's so infuriating when you're wrong!" Perri tried to interrupt but the ice in Aanli's eyes would not relent. "You said you would be fine. You said the Iurers never ventured out here after dark. You said no one would even think to look up for a climbing Five. You were wrong! Damnit Perri you know nothing of what it's like for anyone existing outside of your head." Perri's hands held tight to the wooden table, she couldn't bear to meet Aanli's gaze.