The not-a-princess

One pretty face at a time

It was currently 11pm and the moon was grinning quite unusually brightly when Ria dropped the bomb, "I heard your sword is under threats." 

I choke and splutter, "how?!" I - quite out of character - demand. No way she could've known... I didn't tell anyone. The way she could've known is through my journal but...
She just yawned and pushed her dog off her legs, "I'll explain to you in the morning, I'm too lazy for this. Besides I can help you get into the School Masters tower." Before I could ask questions of why and how she knew my sword was kept there, she pulled up her blanket and blew out the  scented candle, leaving me in darkness. 

All electricity cables are automatically turned off after 9. The only source of light now was Tapioca's ipad and she was now watching people make giant size, doggy treats. I groan, "What is going on in this place? Can't I keep a secret or two in peace?" 

"Woof!" replied the dog very helpfully

 I roll my eyes. "Thank you tapioca but I don't wish to wake up Ria." I sigh; I should just go to bed. Despite how tired I was I couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned all the night and finally exhaustion kidnapped me: snoring awaked me. 

Doggy snoring. 

I scream and jump out of bed. Just a couple of seconds ago, I was cuddling a human sized dog who somehow made it under my blanket, next to me. I blink and rub my eyes. Ria is still somehow sleeping, her arms and legs flunked around everywhere and her blanket tossed aside revealing things that I should not have ever seen until marriage. Tapioca, awake from my screams, groans. The dog stretches and climbs out of my bed. 

Ugh, now I have to ask the fairies to extra-extra clean my sheets from all this dog fur and goodness know what. She then smugly makes her way to Ria and while she's passing by, Tapioca delivers a loud, swift fart. I fall to my knees, so gross! I think I'm going to choke. My death can not be caused by an overgrown dog's fart! it simply can not! Tapioca reaches Ria's bed and licks her face, successfully waking her up. Ria groans and grumbles a, "wot?" her voice husky from sleep and her hair sticking up like wolverine. 

Surprising myself, I giggle at the scene. "If your laughing at me, you should see yourself, looks like someone farted in your face." 

"It's your wretched, hulk of a dog..." I groan, the giggles drained out of me. I could practically taste the fart. Ria throws her head back in laugh and tosses Tapioca a treat. I would not be surprised if she trained Tapioca to do so. She seemed like the sort of person to. 

We'd slept in, it's currently lunch time. I sigh and turn to Ria, looking at her more closely, there are charcoal marks almost smudged everywhere on her face and dark lines under her eyes... couldn't she sleep? Instinctively, I look around the room, there was a new drawing on the wall next to a orchid plant. It didn't take Sherlock Holmes brain cells to figure out that she must've woken up to create this and gone back to bed. It was of person frozen mid-dance, their hands and hair everywhere and a loud smile. How amazing. 

...

Now we're standing in front of the schoolmaster's tower. Just an hour ago, Ria (thankfully after putting on a dressing gown, boy did she not have any decencies. Who raised her? Chickens?) explained how she'd seen some of the threats sticking around after I'd received and how worried I seemed which caused me to skip class. So she wasted no time and gathered up Kieren and this mysterious (quite nice looking if I must say so myself) boy. Despite it being 2pm on a Tuesday afternoon (Harley had told the teachers Ria had a  contagious pimple and I had a severe case of diarrhoea – oh the favouritism), we were somehow able leave school without disruption. 

We all got dressed in jeans and comfortable but necessary armour. Kieren had met us with a suspiciously huge sack filled to the brim and a friend. He introduced himself as James and he was taller than Kieren but more slender and pale with sharp features and short messy hair. He hugged Ria and turned to me with a nod. Oh so they already know each other.

I quickly explained the situation, "Excalibur is going to be stolen and claimed and whoever possesses it can take over the school and any neighbouring kingdoms along with Camelot. We need to go inside and secure it." 

Ria – instead of saying anything helpful, prompted, "I need to sneeze, anyone got a tissue?" 

Kieren offered her some, "And wipe your face and hands, you got smudges everywhere-" Ria interrupted him with a violent sneeze that shook her whole body. 

Wiping her nose she pouted,"It don't matter if I got marks on my face, I look beautiful anyway." Kieren rolled his eyes fondly, they were so in love, they should practically get married. "Sorry to burst your bubble, lovebirds, but let's split up. You two stay here, keep guard and hide bombs and booby-traps to stop anyone else from coming inside. Me and her," he jerked a thumb in my direction, "Will make our way inside." 

From the lack of respect, I could tell he thought lowly of me and didn't think I could handle some mission. He was misjudging a trained black-belt karate and sword master of a princess. He clearly knew Ria and knew she also wanted some time with her boyfriend. 

The school master's tower was located in between the schools... and man was it huge.

Heading around the blackened tower we look for entrances. It was all barricaded off, with a high fence and gargoyles guarding the top. The only way in was through that one glass window, 40 feet above us. "What's your name, princess?" he asks with a grin, tying the laces on his leather boots getting ready to jump. I smirk, tucking my shirt into my trousers and hop up onto the first loose brick, "You'll have to figure it yourself - peasant!" I call laughing as I continue scaling the wall with my dagger and holding myself between the tower and fence, leaning back and forth to keep my balance. 

I don't bother look back – this was seriously a different kind of fun I missed in a long time. He might be handsome but his pettiness is unattractive. From the bottom he stood gaping like a fish. 

Without meaning to, I struck him in the heart. His face switched up and he grinned, "I'm not going to lose to you!' he grabbed his own two wielding swords and use them to swing himself onto the fence which began to climb. It didn't take us long to scale it. Both of us were covered in scratches and bruises but we were having fun. racing and laughing we reached halfway...

 The gargoyles. Their stoned eyes tracing us for movement of hesitation. One slight flinch and we're dead. "I have an idea." James whispered to me and began to pull out his swords from the bricks of the tower. Okay, I knew boys were dumb but I didn't know they were also suicidal! Before I could stop him, he struck the nearest gargoyle on the toe, who leapt off his stand and started to circle us like a vulture, its teeth bared. 

We were cornered. There's nothing we could do and James was hanging off the edge of one of his swords. Within the blinking of my eye, James leapt off the tower. And grabbed me by my hip. Dragging me down.