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Maybe i'm being selfish maybe I should just go back and ignore my feelings. Maybe I should just focus on helping her feel better....maybe I should just act like everything's OK until it is ok...
The drive to nowhere ended up being a drive to my treehouse....I cant even enjoy it anymore, This is where Me and Ashlee had our first intimate moment. We made lots of memories here escaping reality....
Do I want to throw it all away....Can i even make that decision without finishing my conversation with her first....I dont even know how to feel, all these thoughts just keep filling my head one after the other
I didn't wanna think anymore. I rolled myself 2 blunts and sparked up, i just need a moment of peace. "Alexa, play music by summer walker" I said as I laid on the sofa bed. Getting comfortable i laid back and smoked until i fell into a "weed coma"
MERCEDES POV
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I had just dropped Tamara off back at her granny's place and got back on the road when I remembered Ashlee's old bag was still in my trunk. she'd leave it in my car so she wouldn't have to keep packing a bag everytime we went to a hotel or wherever.
Me: Hey bby do you know where Dami & Ashlee lives?
Babymom: uhhh yea y wassup
me: I gotta drop this old bag off to them, do you think you can send me the address?
Babymom: yea, here you go, be safe on the road
me: ightt, ttyl❤️
Babymom: ❤️
I entered the address into my gps and headed that way.
ARRIVING AT ASHLEE'S PLACE
When I arrived I grabbed her bag out the trunk then walked up and knocked on the door. It took her a second to come to the door but when she finally answered she was crying and all over the place
"Hey hey what is wrong lee" I asked picking her up and hugging her tight as I entered the house with her and her bag
"Dami left, she's upset and I dont think she's coming back" She cried as I sat her on the couch
"What happened" I asked as I wiped her tears. she couldn't bring herself to look at me, she just kept crying.
"I told her about ....something that's been on my mind, I knew it would possibly result in her leaving but....it hurts more than what I prepared for" She sniffed
"well....maybe....she just needs a second, you know how you get when your in your head. Just breathe" I said rubbing her back.
Thats not what I really wanted to say but you know...turning a new leaf or whatever.
"I should've never told her" She mumbled
"what was it exactly that you said to her" I asked
The room grew silent as she let out a sigh and wiped her face. She then looked up at me for a bit then sighed again
"I told her...That I was bored with our relationship" She said softly
"...Ashlee, really. You told her she was boring snd expected her not to be upset" I said smacking my teeth
"That wasn't all...I also basically told her that..........that I was thinking about you because, I was never bored with you" she said. I know it wasn't supposed to but it made my heart smile a bit when she said that.
"oh...yea if I was her I would've left too" I mumbled
"Thats not helping asshole" She said punching me in my arm a bit
"Im just worried...what if she gets in an accident" Ashlee said getting up
"dont think like that...try to stay positive, did she take her phone. text her" I said trying my best to seem as if iI really cared. Truthfully it hurt seeing her care so much about someone else but, she's happy?
"I didn't even think about that....Thank you mercedes.." She said coming towards me and placing a kiss on my cheek
"yea....no problem" I sighed
"Whats wrong" She asked
"This shit so dumb. just come back to me" I said getting annoyed
"Mercedes....." She sighed
"Its fine, here's your bag. Im gonna head out" i said getting up
"Please....dont leave yet, you know I hate being alone" Ashlee said as she began crying.
"....Maybe thats what we both need, the more im around you the more angry and hurt I get because I cant have you" I said reaching for the door
"but-" she began to say
"Please...dont make this harder for me. im trying to do better" I said
".....i love you mercedes" Ashlee sighed
"I love you too....goodbye" I said and left before she could see the tears in my eyes
