Change. Brando De Sanctis

9.

BRANDO'S POV

I sense how tense she become after my comment. But it was truth. I still can't really explain but she is the first girl I can't stop thinking about.

I have tried for years to make her notice me with my stupid pranks on her. And everytime she got mad at me I felt how my heartbeat race.

So when she stood up from the couch and grabbed my hand the only thing going through my mind were how well our hands interlock. How even the slightliest touch I got from her make my head go dizzy.

We go infront of the house. It was dark but thankfully I could still see her face perfectly. Maybe because for the last month I have always dreamed about her all the time.

I catch her looking at my lips like she wanted what I want so bad but something stopped her.

"You can't act like that?" She started and I could see she struggled with something.

"Like what." My eyes traveled her eyes and lips.

"Like you really and truly desire me and then just do something like starting dating Chiara"

I smiled because I felt how jealous she is and something in my stomach started moving. I love her jealous side.

"So you still believe you are not jealous?" I said and take a step closer. I could feel she was nervous watching everything I do.

"Oh Brando, if I am jealous in your opinion what are you?"

"No, I just want you to not give your attention to someone who doesn't deserve you."

"And you think that you deserve me Brando. With everyday I don't know what is going in your mind. I don't have explanation about anything. I feel like you change yourself all the time. And I try to understand you and I don't even know why I want to."

Something in my heart break and heal at the same time. I know that I am not perfect for her. I am not what she deserves. But still I couldn't keep my distance from her. I tried, but I can't.

"Yes, you deserve more. And I am sure I am not the best man of your dreams or whatever but I am the person who wants you the most. I am the person who is obsessed not only of your body but your soul."

I feel like I share my deepest secret. I am not used to share my feelings. In my family this isn't really normal. But for her, I want to.

There were silence for a moment. I would pay everything just to hear her thoughts right now. Part of me was nervous that she would think I am weak and not accept me.

"Listen y/n. I got with Chiara because I find out that she is prostitution. I wanted to show everyone that I am not gay so we make a deal. If she fake date me I wouldn't show my proof I have."

"Brando, that's awful. How could you! Do you think about how others feel?"

"I think about you"

"No no don't melt my heart. I know what you are trying to do."

I tried not to smile but she looks so cute when she is mad.

But her eyes filled with water and I felt something in my chest tightening.

"What's wrong love?" I said softly reaching for her arm, doing smoothly and relaxing moves with my fingers to her back.

"No, don't."
She pulled me away.

"Brando, why you didn't asked me" Y/n asked and I felt the pain in her voice.

How could I explain to her that I thought I am not enough for her. How I though she would reject me. I am not scared of rejection.

I am scared of her rejection. Scared that she wouldn't like me. Because deeply I knew that this would broke me. More than anything. So I just preferred to stay in my comfort zone.

But right now, seeing her like that broke me more.

I closed my eyes and take a deep breath.

"I was scared, okay. Don't be sad please."

"Scared?"

"Just forget it."
I couldn't face it. I needed to escape the truth. How vulnerable I have become just because of her? How I can't stop thinking of her eyes and her lips and hair. But I didn't wanted her to think I was vulnerable. I was scared of my feelings.

So I felt how my body tighten and I couldn't feel the air in my lungs. From thoughts. About my father with a girl in my age, about y/n thoughts. So I just kissed her forehead and start walking fast to my car.

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I really hope you enjoy the story and find it interesting. If there is something wrong you can always write to me. Love ya