Letting go of the past is arguably one of the hardest things we have to do
The searing pain in your chest ceases to exist
The piercing ringing in your ears goes quiet
The pounding of your heart slows
And for a second time stops
Everything goes quiet
Your mind stops racing
It's a bit brighter outside
And hope begins to ignite
Just for a single second
Until guilt slams into your body like the unforgiving waves crash onto the unsuspecting shore
The burning becomes a dull ache
The ringing gets so loud you half expect crimson blood to pour from your ears and eyes
And the pounding returns to your chest so violently you have to wonder if it's doing more harm than good
If you're doing more harm than good
The feeling of guilt setting in is painful
It rips you apart
It follows you around
Becomes you ghost
Keeps a firm grip around your throat
Controlling if you live or die
Feel or breathe
A sinister smile on its face
Enjoying every second of your misery
Thriving in the torment
The torture it so willingly inflicts
Causing your eyes to burn with tears as the pain becomes unbearable
Only to inevitably realise that the ghost hellbent on your demise
Is you
Guilts hard to let go of
I don't think it ever really leaves
It prospers in harsh conditions
It doesn't just show up
You invite it
You welcome it
Without even realising it's your own doing
You begin the purgatory
Create the first wound
Cut as deep as possible because of some uninformed sense of wrongdoing
Consistently punishing yourself in the hope that the pain will subside
Finally leave you with some clarity
Peace
But it never does
Grief and guilt never die
It will follow you around every ill-lit corner of your tortured mind
Break every beautiful thought into nothing
Unless you destroy it
Rip it out at the source
At the heart
But how do you do that without destroying yourself
Without ripping apart your own heart
Guilt sets in deep
How could you possibly remove its infection from your mind and body
When it is embedded in your bones
In your every thought
Living with every distressed beat of your heart
My ghost is firm in its stance
Fixated on not leaving me lonely
Determined to to stay by my side until death do us part
My very own grim reaper
My beloved ghost and me
Sitting in a tree
D-Y-I-N-G
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PoetryI've recently started to write poetry I'm not sure if this is the best place to post it but I think this will be a fun new experience for me 🩷 Let me know which one was your favourite And message me if there is anything you want me to write about...
