Perfect

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Why do you make me feel like this all the time

like I can never be the one you desired 
like I am dumb

I try so much to be as you wanted me to be
to be smart 
to be intelligent
active
smiling
to do things you like

I try so hard that sometimes I feel like
dying
suffocating
tormenting

trying to be someone who I am not, so that you recognize me
feel happy when you talk to someone about me
be proud of me

I don't even know how to share my distress, pain, and anguish.
Unknowingly you have become my worst nightmare, the reason for my agony, trauma, and anxiety.

 Still, I can't help but understand you, and feel that whatever you are making me go through is to make me a perfect human being. Because at the end of the day, everyone likes someone who is 

PERFECT.

At last, everybody values your certificates, not your knowledge,
values your appearance, not your character at first sight.
Values your doing, not your intentions.

I am tired of trying, But I will still keep trying.
because your validation became my life goal. 
I can't think of any achievement other than that.


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