Everything and anything

PART NINE!!!!!!!!

YES THIS IS ALL IN GONS POV.GET OVER IT
ALSO LOOK AT THIS FANART I FOUND!!!!!! OMG MY BABIES
(Btw you will need therapy after this chapter,I'm not paying)

Gons pov:
He looked like he was about pass out,Killuas face was so pale and he looked so scared.
"Killua! It's ok! I'm right here"
He didn't look at me and just kept staring at his hands,which were shaking so badly that it was hard to watch...
"Killua,look at me it's ok! Im right here!"
I tried to grab his shoulders but he flinched his body away and look at me with a face of terror.
"You're not him."
"What? Killua it's me gon I swear!"
What is he talking about?! I'm me I always have been.
"N-no your not! You're lying!"
He said pointing to me with a shaking hand.
"Killua I swear I'm not lying!"
I tired to hold his hands steady but he just kept backing away, he looked at me like I was a stranger.
"Killua,it's me! Gon your best friend! I swear!"
"No your not! Stop tricking me Illumi!"
He looked at me with pure fear,so scared he could barely stand. His face covered in sweat and tears,he was in a state of confusion and fear,real fear.
"Killua...I'm not your brother."
"Stop! Just stop it! Leave me alone!"
He covered his ears with his hands and fell to the ground on his knees.
By this time I heard aunt Mito come in the room concerned.
"What's going on?!"
"J-just give us a minute ok?! I think I know what's going on! But don't let alluka in!"
She nodded her head and closed the door,I could hear her comforting Alluka.
"Killua look at me,I'm me.just me,not illumi. I'm gon,your best friend,we met at the Hunter exam,we stayed together for around three years,we know everything about each other, please believe me-"
"Just shut up!"
He whipped his hand and it hit me right across the face. I know he didn't mean it,he is just scared.
"You're not him! So just shut up!! Shut up,shut up,shut up,shut up,shut up!!"
He said over and over. His hands over both of his ears. He was in pain.
I looked back up at him and gently pulled his hands off of his ears,I could feel blood in my mouth. I looked at him and smiled.
"Killua,it's me."
He looked at me and I saw a change in his eyes,suddenly the small light was back.
He sat there for a bit and looked at me,then he noticed my face. It was already pretty red and getting swollen.
"Killua,I'm here. I'll always be here."
Killuas hand lightly hovered over the red spot on my cheek,he looked back at me. His eyes watering.
"I-I hurt you."
"Killua it's ok,you were not yourself.you were protecting yourself in any way you could. So don't apologize"
I said while I grabbed his hand and held it tight, I wanted him to know that he was ok. That he was safe.
"But I,I hit you...I hit you, I-"
I grabbed him and pulled him close and held him in my arms for a while,his body was cold and he was still trembling.
"It's ok.I'm here"
After I said that,he stared to cry. And I mean really cry. I could feel his tears damping my shirt.
We sat there for a long time,just sitting,not talking at all. I rubbed my hand up and down his back to help him feel better. It always calmed me down when I was stressed.
"I-I thought you were him,it all felt so real.."
"You had a night terror,it's ok."
"No,it felt like more than that.like my brother was standing over me and I couldn't move,I couldn't scream no matter how hard I tried. I was sinking in an ocean of my own blood. It was...awful."
"I'm sorry."
"Killua I'm so so sorry"
"But I,I saw you. At the bottom of the ocean. And you were...dead."
Hearing what he went through made my heart break.
"Killua, I'm not going anywhere. I promise.ill stay by your side for the rest of my life."
"Thanks.."
"Thank you for telling me.do you want me to stay awake while you sleep?"
I said as I pulled away from the hug,my shoulder was drenched in tears.it was heartbreaking...
"Please."
"I'll stay with you,ok?"
"Ok..."
For the rest of the night I held him in my arms as he slept,he did wake up a phew times and it was only worse than the first time, but I learnt how to calm him down easily.
"I'm so sorry..."
I whispered while he slept, his arm was rapped around mine and I laid on my back,making sure I could tell if he was asleep.
I felt a small tug on my sleeve,I looked down and saw he was awake. But not like before,he was just starting at me. His eyes so soft and sad.
I tuned to my side to look at him better and looked at him. When I thought about he, he was actually pretty beautiful. I mean I always knew that! But I never really thought to stop and look at him this close.
I felt a little tear fall from my eyes and down my cheek,I wasn't crying out of sadness,I was crying out of pity for him.
"Are you okay?"
Killua said while he wiped the tear off of my face.
"Yeah...im perfectly fine."
I said and smiled,this was so peaceful.
"What do you think we'll be doing in 20 years?"
Killua asked,what?!
"Where is this coming from?"
I said as I giggled a little bit.
"Nothing,I just thought of it"
"Well where do you see yourself?"
I asked with raised eyebrows,I'm quite curious about what he'll say.
"I hope I'm still here,working at a little coffee shop or something, a quiet life would be nice..."
Omg...I think my heart just grew seven sizes.
"Where do you think you'll be?"
I gave it some thought,but then I finally realized what I really wanted.
" I'd want to live in a small farm, we would build it and live in it together! There would be cats and dogs and all sorts of animals!"
I stared to "rambel" as killua puts it. But while I was talking I found a new thought.
"Why'd you stop?"
Killua said with a confused look.
"Killua freecs!"
I said,pointing my finger to him.
"What?!"
He said laughing.
"What are you talking about?"
"Well,if we got married! And if you took my last name you would be killua freecs! But If I took your...I would be gon zoldyke!that doesn't really have the same ring to it though"
I did putting my finger on my chin.
"Well. I wouldn't care what my last name would be."
Killua said while he closed his eyes and smiled
"What?! But it's so important!"
"As long as I'm with you,I don't care who I am." 
He smiled at me, I couldn't help but blush at that and smile.
"But killua freecs does sound pretty cool"
"That's what I'm saying!" I said as I sat up and punched his arm.
"Ow! Hay!"
That got me a pillow to the head.
"How dare you!"
I threw a pillow back and then grabbed both of them and whacked killua with both of them. But he grabbed them before I could get them back.
He got out of the bed and stood on his tippy toes so I couldn't reach them. I forgot how tall he was.
"Oh come on that's just mean."
"Oh come on,try to get them! I bet you can't without using nen!"
I thought of something,that's definitely going to work. HA IM A GENIUS!
I quietly walked over to him with my hands behind my back and went on my tip toes and kissed his cheek, yup that worked!
He blushed so hard it was wicked cute,then I just grabbed the pillows and put them back on the bed
"Looks like  I win! "
"You missed"
"What?"
I said turning back to killua with a confused look,what was he talking about?
" you. Missed."
He pointed to his lips
I could feel my face burn so bad
"Uh-"
I started to fumble and fidget with my fingers
"Hah got you"
"What?"
I looked at him with confusion
"You always make me blush so now it's my turn,and look at that I got you"
He held my face in his hands
"Whatever..."
I mumbled,dang it. I have to get him back for that.
" I'm going back to bed,come on."
"Wait! I-I have to get you back!"
"What?"
Killua said laughing
"It's no fair!"
"How are you this competitive! Just go to sleep"
"Fine. But I'll get you..."
"Is that a threat?"
He said raising his eyebrow and crossing his arms.
"Maybe..."
I said while I shrugged and got into the bed.
"Whatever you weirdo"
"I'm not a weirdo!"
"Whatever you say"
He said as he turned to me and laid down,we sat there for a bit and just looked at each other.
"Gon"
"Yeah?"
"Remember when I asked you if you've ever been on a date?"
"Yeah I remember!"
"Well you said that the lady's from the ship...taught you stuff? What did you mean?"
"Why do you want to know all of the sudden haha"
I said as I laughed,honestly it was nothing bad.
"I've been curious since day one."
He said all serious.
"Ok then...well they always said consent is very important! And they also said then when someone says no then that means to back off! Mostly that kind of stuff! But a lot of them always said this one thing to me I never got..."
"What is it?"
"They would always say that they were very good at keeping secrets and that,this was a safe space? And they always thought  I was hiding something for some reason because they always said that I could trust them with my secret. I don't really know what that was about-"
All of the sudden killua stared laughing so hard like he was about to die.
"What?!?"
"They-they"
He tried to talk but he was laughing to hard he couldn't even speak.
"What it is?!!!!!!!!????"
"They knew! They knew before you did! Hahaha that's hilarious!"
"Knew what?!??-"
Then it hit me. They knew I was a skittle.
"Oh my god!!!!!how in the-????"
"That is wicked funny gon"
Killua said wiping his eyes,he was even crying out of laughter!
"I guess it is!"
"Okay that's all I wanted to know"
"Oh ok then,I thought you were going to be all poetic and serious but apparently not."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Killua said with a confused look
"Oh nothing"
I said dramatically
His hand was on the pillow and his palm was pointed to the ceiling. I lightly put my hand in his,looking at our hands and smiling.
"I'm glad I met you."
"Me too" killua said,his eyes looking into mine.
"Can I...kiss you?only if your okay with it! I wouldn't want to make you do something you didn't want to do! I mean I can wait forever for you so you don't have to say yes and I-"
I went silent when I felt his hand on my hand,his thumb on my cheek and this fingers under my ear on the side of my neck.
" you don't have to ask"
He said smiling.