Poems

I Wish I Were Dead

I stare at the ceiling, laying in bed. 

People say that thoughts rush through their heads when they're alone. 

When they're depressed. 

So why is it that I cannot think? 

Why is it that the only thing I can acknowledge is the feeling of the tears rolling down my face? 

Why can I not feel anything? 

I know I'm meant to be sad. 

I'm meant to reflect on my life. 

I'm meant to feel something. 

Anything. 

Yet all I can think to myself is 'I wish I were dead.' 

Over, and over once more. 

But I'm not sad when I think these thoughts. 

I'm not even sad that I think these thoughts in the first place. 

I want to get up, to feel something, to be someone, but my body doesnt move.

I know it can, so why does it not?

Why am I trapped here in these sheets unable to move? 

Why do these tears roll down my face when I don't feel sad? 

When I can't feel sad?

Why can't I feel sad?

I wish I were dead.