Stories of LITA 5

I - Through the Glass, Darkly

"If I tell you that I am your lover from a parallel universe, will you believe me Phu?"

Phayu jolted out of his sleep, breathing hard. He immediately looked to his side at the snuffling sounds and drew in a deep breath of relief. His darling was right beside him. But then, who had he seen? Who was Phu? Why had he looked exactly like his sweet boy? Well, almost like that. Except for his hair. His darling had that beautiful auburn, but the boy in his dream had short black hair. But other than that.. Phayu trailed off. Even in his dreams, he was not willing to think about another person. His darling was more than enough for him. He lay back, hugging Rain close to him, wanting no distance between him and his baby.

The next morning, he watched, as his baby went about his morning routine, chirping away as he usually did. "Are you okay Phi?" Rain's voice cut into his musings. He looked up. "What happened baby?" he asked. "That's what I am asking you Phi. What happened to you? You look so distracted. If something is bothering you, you can tell your darling na?" Rain said, looking cutely into Phayu's eyes, as he slid into his lap. "Nothing my darling. I just didn't sleep well," he said, as he tried to draw Rain's attention away by sniffing his neck. Rain giggled, the sound a soothing balm on Phayu's disturbed soul.

"You look distracted Phi Chaai," Saifah said, as he watched Phayu staring out of the window of the garage. Phayu had come in pretty early in the morning, even though it was a Sunday, and had started working on the bikes. But he had soon given up and had just stood there, staring at the tools as if he was seeing them for the first time. "I had a really weird dream last night," he said, turning back and looking at his brother. "Care to elaborate?" Saifah asked. Phayu took a deep breath. "I was running through the rain; I even remember I was wearing a white shirt and blue jeans, Nike shoes, but my hair was shorter. I ran a lot, until I reached this house and rang the bell. I was really shocked to see the person who opened the door. It was someone who looked almost exactly like Rain, except for the hair and the dressing sense. He was wearing yellow, with orange bears, I think," Phayu trailed off, thinking back.

"Then?" Saifah asked, pulled into the story despite himself. He knew that Phayu was of a very practical bent of mind and such kind of dreams were not really his thing. Rain was the one with the over-imaginative mind. "He was so sweet to look at. And I almost felt like I knew him. It was like me and Rain, just in an alternate universe. It felt so real Fah. I was living in the moment," Phayu said, his voice breaking. "I was breaking inside. it was like, I was so disturbed, and I would find peace in only those arms. He was my peace Fah." Phayu slumped down on the couch. Saifah was about to speak up when they were both startled by something clattering on the floor.

Both of them looked up to see Rain standing there, looking heartbroken, his design tube rolling on the floor. Phayu jumped up and rushed towards him, but stopped short when Rain took a step back. "I am sorry. It's okay. It's okay..," he trailed off, before turning around and running away. Phayu stood shellshocked. "Phi Chaai! Go after him! I am pretty sure he misunderstood," Saifah pushed his brother into taking action. Phayu rushed after him, catching him at the gate of the garage. "Rain! you misunderstood. You have to listen to Phi, okay? Don't just go away like that," Phayu said, ready to beg, and not caring who could hear him.

Rain stared at him with tear drenched eyes, breaking something inside of him. He had seen that look on Rain's face and he had always hoped and prayed he would never be the reason behind it. "Rain," he began. "You have always trusted you Phi na? Will you not give me a chance to explain?" he said. Rain looked thoughtful for a moment. "Okay Phi, tell me," he said, sounding belligerent and sad at the same time. "Not here. Come home with me," Phayu said, dragging Rain away. At home, he pulled Rain close to him, although Rain did try to escape his grip. But he wasn't going to let the love of his life leave him.

"I had a dream. Actually, that's not true. I don't know if it was a dream. It was raining, like the first time we met. I was running through it, just like that first time, when I had ridden my bike towards you, not caring that I was getting wet. I was wearing different clothes of course, and my hair was shorter. Then I rang the bell of your house, just like I had knocked on the window of your car, do you remember? Then you opened the door, looking just as befuddled and cute as you had looked that day. You were wearing something yellow, as bright as that pretty yellow umbrella you held over my head that night, protecting me from the rain," Phayu looked at Rain when he finished speaking, seeing only curiosity on his face. At least his boy was not running kicking and screaming to the hills.

"It was like looking through a mirror, a weird dark space. Do you remember how I always used to say that I had this darkness inside of me, and that you were my light? I saw the physical manifestation of that Rain. I stood in the grey, the shadows, the dreary rain, and you were there on the other side, looking bright and perfect, so warm and fuzzy. All I wanted to do in that moment was to bask in the sunshine that was you. I even asked you if you would believe me if I said I was your lover in a parallel universe," Phayu said, keeping his focus completely on Rain, wondering what he would see there. Rain stared at him for a few moments, and suddenly, a wide smile broke out on his face.

"Does that mean that, in any world that we meet, I will be the one you will love the most Phi?" he asked. Phayu looked at him in wonderment. This was his beautiful boy, always looking at the best of everything. "Rain, my sweet boy, no matter where you are, what you are, how you are, you will always be my home. I will go through every mountain and cross every ocean, no matter how far, if that means I can get to you. You are my peace in every world, be it this one or next, and that is never going to change," Phayu said, hugging his boy close. "Phi, Rain belongs to P'Phayu na? Haven't I said that enough number of times? So now, you are not allowed to dream about anyone, even if he looks like me," Rain said, pouting cutely. Phayu nodded, grateful that Rain had accepted the explanation, and that there would be no more misunderstanding between them.

Rain buried his head into Phayu's chest and smiled. A small push into the world of dreams was all that had been needed, and his Phayu was forever his. He would never let go of this man, and to ensure he stayed that way, Phugun and Cirrus could never exist. Casting the fear of losing Rain would ensure that Phayu would never think about those people again. He had no control over how Cirrus had been treated, but he would ensure that his Phayu was the happiest, and that for him, Rain was the only one, in this world, or the next. The mirror could finally rest.