Never Meant (Kellic) // boyxboy

14: I Put The Wreck In Welfare Check

The house smells so unfamiliarly of vanilla and Lysol that I wonder for a moment if I accidentally walked into the wrong one. The shutters are open in the living room, allowing in so much more natural light than I thought we had. There's not a cigarette butt or bottle in sight, and brand new art prints that you'd find in the homewares section of the dollar store align the walls, strategically placed where my dad's fist had once fell through. I peel a price sticker off one of the frames as I walk into the kitchen.

"It's nice in here." I say softly to my father as I find him scrubbing weeks old dishes.

"Is your room clean?" he asks bluntly.

"I'll go check." I whisper, knowing damn well it isn't.

I turn back out of the kitchen and hurry upstairs to my room. I first go over to the window and open it, letting the cold air in and the funky smell out. I pick up the clothes that I strung carelessly across the floor and stuff them into my laundry hamper. I don't have the time to worry about that now so I shove the whole thing into my closet and close the door.

To think just a year ago, I prided myself on being a tidy person. I don't even remember that person anymore.

I make my bed the best I can, but I'm out of energy and out of practice so I don't worry about smoothing the wrinkles out. I begin cleaning off my nightstand, putting CDs back in their cases and stacking them, stuffing textbooks into drawers. And then I notice a blade I had carelessly left out. I'm so accustomed to seeing them around, picking them up and tossing them to the side after use, that I didn't even clock it as being out of place. I scoop the blade into my palm and then stuff it into the pocket of Vic's jacket that I'm still wearing. I give my room one last scan for anything that may cause concern, then I head back out of my room.

My dad is answering the door as I'm coming down the stairs and my hand begins to sweat around the blade that I'm subconsciously turning through my fingers. I throw on a smile and consciously relax my shoulders, but somehow it seems harder to throw on a show now after being so real with Vic over the past couple of days. I do my best though, I don't have a choice.

"Hi Kellin, how are you?" Maggie beams at me and she folds up her umbrella. I need to get me one of those.

"I'm good," I smile softly.

I've seen this woman quite a few times and I can never seem to match her energy. I met her the first time after I gave my report to the police, she was with me during the court proceedings and has since made bimonthly welfare checks. She's always so bubbly, her bright grin spreads across her dark skin, her eyes shine under the lenses of her colourful glasses. It is nice to have someone joyful in this house for once.

"Why don't you go ahead and I'll put on some tea." My dad smiles uncomfortably as he gestures to the living room. Smiling doesn't come naturally to him.

I can't help the confused look on my face as he walks past me into the kitchen. We have tea? He really goes all out for these things. 

I follow Maggie into the living room. This whole charade is starting to feel routine. She sits at one end of the sofa and I sit at the other, trying my best to look comfortable in my own home.

"I can't believe its been two months already!" she starts. "Time is just flying. How have you been?"

"Good," I answer simply.

I take my sweaty hands out of my pockets and wipe them on my jeans.

"That's good. How are you liking your new school?" she prompts, trying to meet my gaze like she usually does but I have trouble looking her in the eyes.

"It's good." I nod, swallowing dryly.

I feel guilty for being so uncooperative but I just can't be comfortable around her. She's only here because of the worst thing that has ever happened to me.