The Last of Us: Endure and Survive

Chapter 56: Joel's Date Night

"Come on El," Matt knocked on the door to her room, "Talk to me,"

No response came from the girl as she hid away in her room. Matt rested his head against the door, "I don't know what this is about ..." He started, piecing together what little bits of information he had, "But you're still my priority, you come before anything else ... Even myself,"

"Come in ..." A weak voice called out from the other side of the door.

The door was unlocked, mainly because it didn't have a lock to begin with, but that didn't stop Matt or Joel from respecting her privacy, even if they were desperate to understand why she was upset with them.

Opening the door, it revealed Ellie sitting with her knees hiding her face on the bed, "Els ..." Matt mumbled, guilt shooting through his very being. Maybe it was selfish of him to go on a date with some, "What's wrong? You can talk to me,"

Matt moved closer to the bed, sitting right at the edge of it to give Ellie all the space she could have, "You two are gonna fucking leave me," Ellie growled out quietly.

"What makes you think that?" Matt tilted his head, "Because I went on a date?"

"You and Joel are gonna fucking leave me for those women!" Ellie complied, looking up and meeting the man's gaze, tears pricked at her eyes once more, "I'll be shoved onto Tommy because I'm a fucking burden ..."

"Ellie, come on, you don't really believe that, right?" Matt questioned, remembering the few times he had this conversation with her. It seemed that she always believes that they'll leave her, no matter how hard they try and convince her otherwise.

Ellie sniffed in response, burying her head into her knees again, "Just because I went on one date doesn't mean I'll forget about you or fucking leave you," He tried to comfort, "I can't stress this enough but you've got me whether you like it or not ... If you don't want me to see anyone ..." Matt sighed, rubbing his eyebrows, "Then as long as it gives you piece of mind, I won't,"

Ellie rubbed her nose, wiping away the sweat. It was unfair, she already figured that much out, but even though she knew it was unfair for both Matt and Joel, she couldn't stop what she was feeling.

It felt like they would immediately abandon her at the first chance they could, especially since they'd be with women their own age and not stuck with a teenager with a countless number of burdens on her back.

"Ellie," Matt said, "I don't know how many times I have to repeat it," he paused, watching as the girl peaked out from behind her knees, "But if I have to say it every hour of everyday for the rest of my life then I will," he continued, "I'm not going to leave you, not for Talia, not for anyone else ... Hell, I already know Joel would say the exact same thing if he was here,"

The words fly straight into Ellie's mind, where she lets them bounce around, desperately trying to absorb them and believe them. It somewhat works, she feels better already, but it doesn't take a genius to know that Matt had simply placed a bandage over the cracks.

The cracks would bare fruit once again at the potential signs of them leaving, she hated herself for it, but there was no other way to stop herself from feeling it. Its probably because they've been the only two people in her life that have stayed with her this long, combine that with the months long journey across the former United States and that's where the issue stems from.

She wants spaces from them but can't help but want them close at all times. Its two exactly opposite feelings fighting for dominance.

"I'm sorry ..." Elle mumbled out, barely audible, but Matt managed to make it out.

"For what?" Matt questioned.

"For being a mess!" Ellie shot back, "I hate feeling like this ... I feel like no matter what happens, you and Joel will leave me anyway ... It'll surely be easier,"