written in the stars - a topper thornton fanfic (outer banks)

t h i r t y t h r e e

song: 'cry' by cigarettes after sex

present

A heavy silence filled the air of the chateau. Genevieve was gently wiping one of the many wounds that were scattered across JJ's torso.

JJ bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from wincing at the pain, and from wincing at the sight of Genevieve's bruised face.

'We're never going to win, are we?' Pope said, breaking the tense silence.

'Fucking Kooks, man,' John B sighed, shaking his head.

'All done,' Genevieve said softly to JJ, closing the first aid kit.

JJ looked gratefully at Genevieve, who could only muster a weak smile in return. Genevieve wasn't really Genevieve anymore, and she was growing more distant by the day. Of course she was in pain, she had just been thrown to the floor by Rafe, but she seemed to be more hurt emotionally than physically. It was weird. JJ wished he could read her mind, know what she was thinking, understand what was eating away at the girl he knew, and loved.

'I should get going,' Kiara said, standing up. 'You heading that way, Gen?'

Genevieve shook her head. 'Can I crash here, John B?'

John B nodded. It didn't take a genius to figure out why Genevieve had been spending so many nights at the chateau recently. They had all seen this before with JJ.

...

'And once again, the Kooks win against the Pogues,' Rafe said with a smirk, cracking open another beer.

Topper felt as if he had been in a daze ever since the fight ended. Remembering that he had nearly killed Pope made him sick to his stomach, but remembering the look in Genevieve's eyes was worse.

'They put up a fight this time though,' Kelce said. 'The girls and the boys.'

'I had to pull Genevieve off of you Kelce. She was fucking feral,' Rafe said.

'Having an alcoholic dad and a dead mom would do that to you,' Kelce said with a sickening laugh.

Topper's entire body went cold. 'What?'

It was the first time he had spoken all evening.

'What do you mean what?' Kelce said, looking confused.

'Why did you say Genevieve has an alcoholic dad and a dead mom? That's JJ.'

Rafe laughed. 'Fuck dude, you're right. It's the both of them. I guess they're dropping like flies over on The Cut.'

Topper was about to speak again, but felt vomit rising in his throat. The bruises on Genevieve's back, the emptiness in her eyes, how she had said it had been the worst year of her life... It all made sense now.

'How did you not know that Genevieve's mom had died? Even me and Kelce told her we were sorry for her loss,' Rafe said, narrowing his eyes at Topper, who had gone suspiciously pale.

'I.... I never heard. Was it recent?'

Kelce shook his head. 'Last summer. Cancer, right?'

Rafe nodded. 'Died a few weeks after she was diagnosed, apparently. Her dad pulled a Luke Maybank on it then. Stopped working and everything. Probably beats the shit out of Genevieve too.'

'Explains how she put up such a fight,' Kelce said, taking another sip of his beer.

A deafening ringing filled Topper's ears. 'I need to piss,' he muttered. Locking the bathroom door behind him, Topper began to throw up violently. He was already riddled with guilt over the fight, but finding out about Genevieve filled him with a guilt that he couldn't surpress.

How had he not known? How had he not heard? The idea that, when Laurie passed, Genevieve had probably already been hurting because of him. The idea that he wasn't there to comfort her when she needed him the most. The idea that he wasn't there to protect her from her father. The idea that he had watched as Rafe threw her to the ground, and didn't react. The idea that he had almost choked her friend to death. The idea that he had inflicted a lifetime's worth of pain on the girl that had given him a lifetime's worth of love.m

There was nothing but bile left in Topper's body to throw up at this point. He stood up shakily, wiping his mouth, before heading back out to Rafe and Kelce.

'Mom's up my ass about getting home,' Topper lied, praying that Rafe and Kelce were drunk enough not to question the legitimacy of his excuse.

'Your mom's a bitch,' Kelce said, smirking at Topper.

'Yup,' Topper said. Kelce had been joking, but Topper wasn't.

'Golf tomorrow, yeah?' Rafe said, shooting a sideways glance at Topper. He was being weird, and Rafe was determined to find out why.

...

'I need to see you asap.'

Genevieve felt her stomach drop as she read the text. She glanced over at John B and JJ, who lay asleep on the couch. She studied the bruises on JJ's face, ran her fingers across the cuts on her own. She deleted the notification.

'Pls G'vieve. I need to talk to you.'

Genevieve bit her bottom lip. Another text came through.

'I'm not trying to hurt you.'

'Fuck,' Genevieve whispered, running her hands through her hair in frustration.

She couldn't leave. JJ or John B would realise she was gone. And it's not like they would believe that she went home.

She couldn't leave. Topper had tried to kill Pope.

She couldn't leave. Why did it take all of her might not to?

Genevieve's fingers hovered over the keyboard. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but she also never wanted to speak to him again. She loved him, but she hated him.

'I can't, Top.'

...

'I can't, Top.'

'Fuck,' Topper exclaimed, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

'I'll wait until you can. But Genevieve, I never knew.'

...

'I never knew.'

Genevieve felt her breath catch in her throat. She turned off her phone and shut her eyes. So many thoughts were running through her head. Too many thoughts.

He knew about her mom. But how? Who had told him? Had he really only learned about it now? Or was he lying?

'No, he's not lying,' Genevieve thought to herself. Topper could never lie to her. Of that she was certain.

Genevieve sighed shakily. This was too much for her to process. She stood up and walked out to the porch. The cool air washed over her body, calming her.

She sighed, taking out her phone. As much as she wanted to be held in Topper's arms, to be comforted by him, to hear the sound of his voice, to look in his eyes... she couldn't. She couldn't keep letting herself, and her friends, get hurt by him. She had to try and move on.

'Then you should understand why I can't bear another ounce of pain.'