BEST BUBS! (Deadpool x Wolverine)

Educated Wish

Deadpool is a chatterbox with no filter.

Wolverine is a tough loner.

So, how the fu-

BEST BUBS!

Deadpool—we can call him Wade, no need to be formal with this one—hasn't seen any progress with his... girlfriend. And they've been seeing other people.

Um? Excuse me, shitbag, I've got this.

Oh, here he comes breaking the fourth wall. Class, you may roll your eyes.

I'm gonna get her back, but that's beside the point. They're here to watch me get pounded by the big yellow guy. No need to get sentimental.

Would you just stay in the scene, please?

You haven't even described the FUCKING scene yet! My god, that green CGI suit had a better picture than this shameful smutty fan fic that the early teens will binge at 2 a.m.! You should be ashamed of yourself, you poor thing.

GO.

Excuse me.

Wade lies seductively waiting for The Wolverine to come into the room.

With a light swing of the door, Logan (we'll call him Logan, just between you and I) locks eyes with the red-suited man-child on the bed he's meant to sleep in.

"Get out," he orders, in his low voice, unsurprised by Wade's behavior.

"Can't. The plot hasn't even started yet. When are you gonna take the suit off? Does it make you feel sexy? Mine does."

"Out!" He's more firm this time.

"Alright!" I'm just trying to help the poor readers get something out of this author who thinks they can write a good story without a plan.

I have a plan...

Sure ya do.

Anyways. Deadpool LEAVES the room.

Logan does take off the suit to settle in.

For a moment, in the mirror of his bathroom, he examines his unchanging appearance. He sighs.

He doesn't care to worry about himself. He let everyone down (where he's from). But now, in a meaningful part of himself, he owes this Deadpool everything.

Just over the past few days (he thinks it's been days. In the TVA, time moves differently.) Deadpool has gotten him out of a world lost of hope and into one full of it, while also allowing him to exercise his 'hero' muscle.

He hated to admit it, but he was full of hope and owed it all to Deadpool. But that nincompoop couldn't hear him say such a thing. He's too unserious.

Out of the shower, he realizes he has nothing to change into.

He huffs, pre-frustration if you will.

"Wade!"

"Hello," he opens the door and steps in, closing it behind him with a happy grin on his face (no longer in his suit). "Drop the towel, big guy."

"I need clothes."

Ah, good one! I wonder what you'll have me do about that, writer.

Go grab him some clothes.

Wade walks to the drawer just next to Logan, meanwhile, Logan watches him carefully.

"Should've laid them out for you," he nods.

"Thanks," Logan nods back, grabbing the folded boxers and tee.

Then, Logan lingers on that word.

He really is grateful.

And he isn't a man of many words. How does one show how grateful they are for something so large like changing your life for the infinite better?

Wade, as you can guess, walks over to the door. And, as you can guess, spins on his heel, leans against the door, and looks on, waiting for our Logan to drop his towel.

"Go on," he urges, with a grin. "I wanna make sure they fit." He jokes.

  Logan's first instinct is to shoo the bastard, maybe even gut him.

  But, on second thought... one can show how grateful they are, in any way that a recipient might appreciate a gesture.

  He drops the towel.

  Now WHAT educated wish might've led to this?

  Deadpool gasps dramatically, of course. I'll let him speak for himself.

  It's too bad you all can't see this! It's everything you'd imagine, and it's not even erect! It's like an elephant trunk. My goodness. Hairy like kiwi. A perfect line from his chest and stomach hair.

Gee.. thanks.

  While Wade stands, shocked, but not appalled by the out-of-character-presentation, Logan continues as if it were a casual thing.

While he strips he reminds himself that it would be the same as changing in a locker room. It puts him at ease with the situation until the shirt is covering his chest and the boxers his groin.

  "Seen enough?" He huffs, moving his suit to the chair across the room.

  "What in the world possessed you-."

  "Get the fuck out of here alrea-."

  "I'm hard as a rock!"

  "Now." This command wasn't as fierce as you'd think it would be.

  "You started it, you scoundrel!" He half pouts, as he backs out of the room.

  "Lock it." This time was more serious.

  After they were separated, Logan sat to contemplate (not about what just happened, he actually hoped to forget it.) and Wade ran into 'Dogpool' which had his attention for the rest of the evening while he contemplated what just happened.

  I can't believe you, writer! What are you up to you horny fuck.

  He's excited.