"Why did you decide to live as a man?"
"I didn't."
"No?" Leonore gestured vaguely to the entirety of Gabriel, who refused to look up from the letter she was reading. "What's all this, then?"
"Living as a very secretive woman. And I'm not having this conversation with you, thanks very much."
They were spending the morning in the sitting room, with Gabriel cooped up in her letters and Leonore pestering her for company. Ever since she came to Irve, her well of correspondence dried up and she didn't get many letters. Even her best friends hadn't written, which she was braving as valiantly as she could, but on this path of loneliness her steps faltered.
She said, "Come on. I would understand."
Gabriel's response to this was the opposite of an unaffected hmm, which is to say that her response was an aggressive exhale.
"I would. I get it. You think I didn't want to be a knight? Only I can't, because I'm the princess. Just the one, and the queendom can't spend her on war."
After a pause, engineered to possibly just a tiny bit make Gabriel feel sorry for her, Leonore sat on the other armchair. The battle of silent wills lasted a short while, until the knight spoke again.
"It was easier. It's always easier. And I could pull it off, so on it went."
"Does anyone else know?"
"No. Just you."
"How? I mean, it's been such a long time."
"People suspect. But it's a silly notion, seeing as women are in the knighthood as well. So no one brought it up."
"That's my next question. Dame Mendel is a knight, to name one."
"Dame Mendel lives a difficult life, more difficult than mine. Not to mention her reputation—the Iron Maiden. Though she's only one of those things."
"Gabriel," chided Leonore.
"What? She's gone through four husbands already. And I didn't say it was a bad thing."
The common excuse for denying women power had always been that they often turn into tyrants, which was misleading. People—all people—given power often turn into tyrants, only that such little women are given it that the numbers get skewed; These numbers will show that most—if not all women—turn out to be horrid leaders, but ignore that for every tyrant woman, there is eight tyrant men.
Power corrupts.
Gabriel put down the letter she was reading and picked up another.
Leonore said, "It must have been lonely."
"I was much too tired and busy to pursue spouses."
"Not that." Leonore picked up the discarded letter. "May I?"
Weary-eyed Gabriel made a whining noise, which meant that Leonore could read it but she'd prefer if Leonore left her alone entirely. But she'd consented, so Leonore unfolded the page.
Leonore said, distractedly, "I meant in your life. No one was allowed to know. How did you manage when you had to hold everything at arms' length?"
"Your half-assed attempt at getting to know me is obvious and weak, but the fact that you try is darling."
"Come on," said Leonore for the second time today, giving up on the letter full of misspellings and errors. "Points for trying?"
"Fine. One question."
YOU ARE READING
The Thorn (wlw)
FantasyCrown Princess Leonore, heir to the queendom of Dranath, likes women, obviously. The Queen Mother Carmilla marries her off to Sir Gabriel, obviously. So when she finds out Sir Gabriel is a woman... Dranath; queendom of mystique, bordered by jealous...