Arrangement : with the gang leader

92

The guys came back after two days as promised. Damien and I decided that we should have a serious talk prior to him leaving so we know where we stand on the whole baby situation, in case I am pregnant. 

He pointed out how having a baby in his line of work is quite dangerous but that he doesn't see himself having children with anyone but me so if it happens that we are pregnant then we'll keep it under the conditions that we move in together so he can protect us. 

I cried so much I even had hiccups. I didn't miss how bipolar that response was so I pointed that out and he laughed and said that Gumbi kicked his ass and had a man-to-man conversation with him in regards to the whole situation and he understood where I was coming from and how much he did want to be a dad one day but just feared losing his child to gang violence.

When they returned, Gumbi also decided it was time he gave me a father conversation regarding the pregnancy. He scolded me for a good 30 minutes and I obviously cried and he didn't budge this time. He then told me about how he had lost his first child to gang violence. 

"Shadow was there when it happened and that was his and White's child as much as it was mine so we all had to mourn her lose. Her name was Mbalenhle. I know what uMfo did and said to you may have been harsh and seemed heartless kodwa I'm telling you this so that you can understand where he's coming from. He's already had to lose a child to this and it's much worse for a gang leader." he said, explaining things to me. 

"But that wasn't his fault Gumbi and I'm sorry you guys had to go through all that" I said, avoiding eye contact. 

"Unfortunately uMafo saw it as his fault since people thought uMbali was his child. They were very close. In as much as he may be cold to everyone else but he was a soft with Mbali as he is with you. He would have taken a bullet for my girl. They shot and killed her thinking that they were paying revenge on Shadow. They weren't completely far off seeing as he turned more ruthless after that and went on a killing spree." he said, as he looked far off in thought and I could see the glint of sadness in his eyes. 

"He became a different beast and it took a lot for him to be the man he is today. I sometimes laugh when people say that uMafo is intimidating or cold because his current version is nothing like the heartless beast he was during that time. He got better. So please be patient with him when it comes to the topic of children. I may have handled the situation better and was able to have kids again but with him? ncncnc" 

A tear escaped my eye, as I thought about how that must've been for him and I finally understood why he was so dead set on not having children. I'm glad that I had the conversation with Gumbi before him so that I could have a better perspective since Damien didn't tell me all that. 

The world has a funny way of working because that very night that they had come back, my dad came to get them. They disappeared that night without a trace and the girls went frantic. Fortunately enough, I know my dad's ways so I knew it was all his doings. 

None of their clothes were in their homes, not even a sock in sight. My dad always says that once a man (or women) goes to training of any sort, they come back a different man. Therefore, whatever they used to like, wear or do changes. They shouldn't come back to the same situation. 

***********

"Girl, we're waiting on you" T says over the phone. 

I quickly grab my things and car keys so I can head over to them with immediate effect. 

Upon getting, I see my girls looking lavish as ever. Bathong, why wasn't I given the memo. They look like rich aunties while I look like a IG baddie. 

"You guys need prayer. Why didn't you tell me that we're dressing up?" I complain, taking my seat at the corner table they are seated at. 

We're at LuCian cafe. 

"Eish, that's my fault, ke llebetsi. Askies" T says and I shake my head. 

"Mina ngifuna umuntu wam ni busy ngama dress code mxm" Nelly sulks and I chuckle. 

"Forget that, I'm so scared of how they'll come back nina" I say and T shoots a look at me.

"Hhay Lerato what do you mean jwale?" she asks and I shake my head scoffing. 

"Training changes a man. I won't lie, my dad isn't the sweetest person when it comes to that side of his life. He may be a great dad but uhm... he's a scary dude in general nje. He's really ever nice to me and his girl which I've only ever met once" I say and I can see the worry in Nelly's eyes. ]

"I'd love to calm your nerves down but expect the worst shame," I say to her and she sighs. 

"Joh ha.a bathong, not my sweet pookie pie!" T says, sulking. 

I laugh and she glares at me. 

"T, it looks like Nelly and I will have to start joining you in training too now. There's no jokey jokey time anymore" I state, matter of factly and Nelly turns to look at me like I've lost my mind while T looks excited. 

"I've beeeeeen waiting for this moment. You guys will love it, I promise. It's helped me gain so much confidence guys. " she says, squealing in excitement. 

"Why do we have to join her? Angisiyi gintsa mina yho" Nelly says and I chuckle. 

"Ohhh mina ke gintsa wena Nelisiwe" T says and I laugh at them. 

"Hhay phela wena uyahlanya nje ayikho eyakho Tumi." she says and T glares at her while he shrugs. 

"Nelly, that's what my dad said. He told my guard to tell me this. And ge I'd rather listen than for my dad himself to come get us too" I say and Nelly's eyes bulge out while T looks uncomfortable. 

"Your dad doesn't like me very much does he" T says and I look at her with pity

"It's nothing personal. He doesn't like anyone to be fair," I clarify. 

She's thinking back to that time in the office when my dad started calling her out and all. 

"Forget being liked by him. He's just scary nje. No wonder you have such a resting bitch face" Nelly says and I roll my eyes. 

"Besides him saying we have to also go train, I feel like it would do us good. We chose the men we're with and they can't have weak women so it's time we take control over our lives and be able to protect ourselves when need be. They won't always be there to protect us, unfortunately." I say and they nod. 

"That's true, especially with these bitches that keep trying their luck. It's like they attract crazy people only" Nelly says. 

"I'd kill a hoe if she ever tried." T says, sipping her cocktail and I think about what they are saying. 

Will I be able to handle that? 

__________________________

Here's another one:) 

Thank you guys for the well wishes. I'm getting better by the day so I write when I can. Still a bit tricky but we soldier on.