To Rhial

42

Brenden

Why do I even bother trying with Desmond? He can do no wrong, but everyone around him is constantly fucking things up. He's stuck in a bubble at every turn, doing whatever he wants without thinking of the repercussions. I'm not exactly the best at coming up with thorough plans, but I have to give myself credit for thinking at least. Desmond doesn't seem to think unless it gets him paid or laid.

After my bath, I went back to the room and to nobody's surprise whatsoever, Desmond was gone. I didn't know where he was, but I couldn't keep babysitting him. I spent the rest of the night thinking about what I was gonna tell Miriel.

Maybe "I didn't mean to give you the wrong idea. I'm not gonna be around much longer anyways." Maybe I'll just explain the whole situation and back off and she'll think I'm just a delusional nutjob. I don't see a future here, or with any of the people here. I can't plan for a future that I don't even have a vague idea of. I'll end it and move on.

* * * * *

I heard the news about Desmond from Zerick almost immediately after it happened, then went on with my business. To be honest, I was happy to hear it. Desmond with too much time on his hands was a recipe for bad news, whether that be for him or somebody else. Hallax was in a sour mood, so I wheeled the uisukaifo to my room and set it up next to the window.

I was in the middle of playing "Take On Me" when I heard two gentle knocks on the door.

"It's unlocked!"

I didn't turn around while I finished out the chorus, but I heard light steps stop not far behind me and the door creak shut. Nothing but silence behind me while I finished the section. I didn't know if I wanted to turn around. I could tell who it was from the knocks, the steps, and the silence. I was afraid to turn around and look at her.

She spoke first. "I was unsure if you were going to visit."

"I was gonna stop in after practicing. Came by to get it over with and hash it out? Works for me." I finally turned around to her. She was wearing a simple silver-colored puffy blouse and a long brassy skirt. Her hair was pulled to one side and clipped in back, the long clip poking up over the top of her head slightly. It was far more casual looking compared to what she usually wore for her medical work. And I caught myself doing it again, admiring her beauty and noticing her clothes like a fool in love. I chuckled to myself and looked down before correcting my face to something more formal.

"Get it over with? Alex, I-"

"Miriel, my name isn't Alex. It's Brenden. I've been lying to cover my tracks."

I stayed seated in the stool. She motioned toward one of the chairs at the cluttered table, so I gestured for her to sit. She sat down very properly, and folded her hands on her lap. She smiled at me and turned her eyes back down to her hands.

She started. "I know. Lord Hallax slipped this morning after dealing with Eddie and Dex. He was asking me about it and referred to you as... Brenden. He had Riviera explain the situation to me." She gazed into my eyes for a moment. "I sympathize with your situation. Being at odds with Lady Simira sounds scary, especially with her tenacity. And, as I have discovered in recent times, there are much worse things that people can hide from you, and do behind your back. Her men almost dragged me the whole way to Poikla before we stopped and I saw what she was capable of. I now realize that it was you and your friends."

She's way too nice for me. Even still, I feel like there has to be some caveat. Some "but" that she's gonna drop out of nowhere. No. I can't get swept up thinking about that. I have to stay focused on what I planned.

I bluntly said "So, what did Desmond tell you yesterday that I can clear up?"

Surprise and anxiety washed over Miriel's face. "Desmond, huh. Well, he was very direct with his questions. He wanted to know... how I felt about you. And when I told him, he told me that... you are attracted to me. Of course, he worded it rather crassly and it simply didn't make sense from a logical standpoint."