Life goes on week by week, and I find myself feeling determined once more. I've rediscovered my path. Perhaps for the last three years of this cycle maybe I was just severely burned out without realizing it. Or it could have happened suddenly, since I was enjoying it at the beginning.
I've done any reflection just to come back to my senses again. Which is a need due to the guidelines of the unique demands and expectations that associated with my soon to be title and our position in this society.
Sa mga nakalipas, kahit once pwede naman sigurong magreklamo? To burst this things out? To be frustrated because I am stress? I rub hardly my hair sa harap ng kalakihang full body mirror dito sa closet room ko. Just wearing bathrobe.
Bagong gising lang ako. Ewan ko ba at kanina ko pa pinagmamasdan ang sarili ko sa harap ng salamin. Or could it be that I'm unwilling to accept the undeniable truth that one's appearance does indeed carry considerable weight?
Kasi because of all of this nagugulat pa rin ako sa pagbabago ko kapag may panahon akong mag-isip isip ng mga bagay.
What a bloody hell requirement, to attract.
For paparazis to tick a appropriate photo of you and would sell it. All for the media to feast upon. To charm everybody, to be the in that fame. Astonishing.
Wala namang masama, napuna ko lang kasi gusto ko nga lang magreklamo. I smiled. I'm happy naman. Just collecting fuckable thoughts since I have nothing to burden in my mind at the moment at mukhang nasanay akong mag-isip ng kung ano-ano kaya kahit hindi problema sinisita ko. Hahaha!
But this isn't only about that shallow matters. My life isn't just about enjoying luxury. It's not only about the advantages and disadvantages of being born into a peerage lineage. It's beyond connections, influence, and status.
Marquess. A position below the Duke and a title above the Earl. It's not just about the pros and cons, but it is also the do's and don'ts. Involves responsibilities, the burden of expectations, and constant observation.
I must this and that. Do this, not that. Since I am also a role model on my own way to help to preserve the traditions and expectancy. And that's the part where the pressure comes in, maintaning a public image.
A demand that fills me with fear, for one day I shall reach the point of sacrificing everything for this life. I must avoid any hint of scandal, or it will completely ruin me.
"ARGH! Dianver!" ilang ulit ko bang sasabihin sayo na hindi ka naman pinepressure ng tatay mo?! I want to sulk, so I sulk. In a dramatic way.
I screamed in exasperation, stomped my feet angrily. And in the midway through I threw my hands up in the air, continuing to vent my frustration.
"Ha.. Ha.. HAHAHA!" baliw?
Hinahabol ko ang hininga ko habang nakapatong ang isa kong kamay sa gitnang lamesa rito sa loob. Laman ng abubot ko. At tangina nakakatawa lang. Wala lang ulit! Grabe na ata yung coping up. Nakakabaliw!
Umupo muna ako sa sofa sa gilid at pinakalma ko sarili ko. Pinagmasdan ko ang maliwanag at napakalawak din na paligid, pinarenovate kaya it looks like more modern kaysa sa labas. Lumilipad isip ko hanggang sa may kumatok ng napakalakas mula sa labas ng kwarto ko.
"Lord, Prince Alexios is already here! You want us to assist you in there? You seem to be taking your time inside!"
"N-no! No! I'm okay, thank you! Meet me in ten!" hindi ko na narinig ang sagot ni Hubert at kumaripas ng takbo para kuhain ang damit na inihanda nila.
Nothing serious errands for today. He just invited me for a charity sports event. It will held in Windsor. Grabe na naman, hindi ba pwedeng dito na lang sa London at kailangan na namang dumayo ng oras ulit?
BINABASA MO ANG
Spencer Series #1: Marquess With His Prime (BxB)
Romance[ ON-GOING ] He's cool and I'm old school. He's dumb and I'm dump. He's well dressed and I'm like posses. He's with anyone and I'm only one. He's into anybody and I'm into study. His path and I, met the way. We are not even match as friends they s...
