𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 , 𝚠. 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚜𝚘𝚗

𝙘𝙝. 𝙯𝙚𝙧𝙤 - 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙡 𝙟𝙚𝙨𝙪𝙨

Linda started her day as usual. Get up, look at the X-Men poster on her wall — staring a little too long at Jean — get dressed, putting her suit on first before her day clothes, and then brushing her teeth with beer. Linda didn't consider herself a lightweight but she was definitely buzzed, sneakily drinking and driving to the usual bar she went to everyday — it was like her second home.

Walking inside, the barkeep placed a drink right on the counter, Linda sat down and downed it, "You have anything better to do then this, Howlett? Or are you just gonna keep coming in here and drinking your sorrows away?" Linda pulled a cigarillo from her pocket before lighting it, "Just keep the drinks coming." She mumbled. This was her normal, her reality, drinking until she couldn't walk anymore.

Looking around, she watching as men played pool or if couples were drinking together — some doing more than drinking. She sighed as she drank out of her glass before a loud noise came from behind her. She didn't react, instead just asking for another drink. "Oh wow! well orange is the new yellow, haha!" This mystery man sidled up next to her, "Get it? Cause you wear yellow spandex? Ah forget it.." Linda looked at him — seeing him wearing a mask, she grinned before scoffing. The mask seemed animated as the whites of the eyes widened in shock, "Female Wolverine! And you're even hotter than Hugh!"

Linda downed her drink before sighing, "Look lady, whatever little dress up you're trying to do, go to Charles — he's more into meet and greets." She took a drag of her cigarillo before blowing the smoke at the man's face. This seemed to excite him, "Ooh, is this part of the foreplay — here, my turn." Suddenly, he drew a gun on her, the barrel reading, "Smile! Wait for the flash." Linda rolled her eyes and looked down. "I suggest that you come with me, pretty please." He ordered but Linda didn't respond, instead grabbing the decorative umbrella that was in her drink and chewing on the end of it — she put her cigarillo out in the ash tray.

"And? What if I suggest that you fuck right off? Hm?" Linda narrowed her eyes, challenging him — The man giggled "Unless you wanna take a deep breath through your fucking forehead, I suggest you reconsider." Linda stood up and breathed heavily, "Why don't you just leave before you get hurt bub?" She growled, her claws sliding out from between her knuckles — slowly, making the man look at them. "Ooh, are you gonna stick those in me? How exciting! But just as a reference, my suit is red so people don't see me bleed — they call me-" Linda cut him off with a quick slash to the arm, "Ow! That was very rude of you, you little feisty fur ball!"

Linda blinked slowly as she wavered, "Leave me alone... I don't need to go anywhere with you." The man sighed, "I just can't do that, and as I was saying, they call me Marvel Jesus — patent pending." He giggled before speaking again, "Well they call me Deadpool actually, or Merc with a Mouth, or Wade, or Ms. Jackson if ya nasty." Linda's claws began to retract as she passed out and fell to the floor. Deadpool sighed as he looked down at her, "I'll just take this as a yes and take you." He looked around to the other people in the bar — "Marvel Jesus! Don't you forget the name!" As he grabbed Linda's foot — he pulled out the little gadget and pressed on it — making the door to another place, just as he did to come into Linda's world.

"Thor cried while holding me." He whispered to someone as he exited before waving goodbye. The portal closed and Wade walked into an elevator, still just holding Linda by her foot — her pant leg rolling down to show off the yellow spandex — he quirked his brow, "Huh."

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"Guess who's back!" Wade announced as he walked back into one of the many headquarters of the TVA. The man known as Paradox turned around — his nose stuffed up with cotton from Wade breaking it before he left — his eyes widened as both him and other employees stared in shock as Wade dragged Linda behind him, now wearing her trademark suit. "Found your fucking anchor beam! And already wearing the suit! Two for one special am I right?" Paradox began to shake his head, "No need to thank me, just know everyone reading this is probably waiting for the chapter where me and this one over here," he motioned to Linda, "finally get it on."

"What the fuck!" Paradox suddenly exclaimed causing everyone, even Wade, to jump. "First, you kill most of my men, then you steal a timedoor! And now," he laughs, "you bring me not only the worst but most useless Wolverine in all of the universes! Trust me when I say there's so many other bad choices but you pick this one?!" Linda's eyes slowly flicker open as Paradox speaks. "What? What do you mean the worst and most useless?" Wade questions — curious as to what he meant. "Oh, Linda Howlett, was in the X-Men, got kicked out, too embarrassed to be seen as a hero — blah blah blah — spends her life as a raging alcoholic who wishes that she could have taken the chance of becoming the best superhero and getting with Jean Grey."

Wade shrugs, "Famke Janssen is a gorgeous woman." Paradox quirks his brow, "Anyways, we will return this Wolverine and you, we'll have to keep you locked up." Linda finally gains the strength to stand up as she breathes heavily — "I'll show you the worst, you motherfu-" Her claws begin to come out as she lunges towards the man but before she can get the chance to claw the man to pieces — she gets shocked by something, she tries to stop herself from falling but she can't help it when she feels the shock all over her body — she collapses, passing out yet again.

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