𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 , 𝚠. 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚜𝚘𝚗

𝙘𝙝. 𝙛𝙞𝙫𝙚 - 𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙡

A beat of silence passed, Linda sighed, "You said that... your Wolverine was a hero. What happened?" Wade shrugged, "He died." Linda furrowed her brows, "How?" Wade leaned forward, "Well, technically, you were chest-fucked by a tree — but really, you just ran out of batteries trying to save someone." That was a surprise to Linda, "Who?" Wade continued, "The shit heels that grew her in a lab called her X-23, but... she was just a kid." Linda looked down — confused at what she was being told. "A younger, daintier, somehow meaner version of you. You died trying to save her... it was beautiful." Linda didn't say anything. Her hands were on the table — she made them into tight fists. Wade placed one of his hands on top of hers, Linda looked at him before getting up and walking out of the diner — Wade followed behind her as he put his mask back on.

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"Look hija, I know you're hurtin'." Linda didn't respond. "My blind, elderly, African-American roommate, Blind Al, always says that pain teaches us who we are — sometimes we need to listen to that pain instead of running from it." Wade said causing Linda to finally acknowledge him, "Holy shit." Wade nodded, "Yeah, she's wise." He smiled. Linda shook her head, "No, no, no. That's her name? You call her Blind Al?" She stopped and looked at him. Wade shrugged, "Well, she's blind.." Before Linda could say anything else — a dog barking could be heard. The two hero's looked forward and saw a dog running towards them. It felt like Lady In Red by Chris de Burgh began to play — Wade was fixated on the dog and held his arms out, picking her up. The dog began to lick his face making Linda roll her eyes. "Look at you!" Wade exclaimed and held the dog close.

Linda crossed her arms, Wade looked at her, "She's coming with us." Linda furrowed her brows, "No she's not, fuck no!" Wade cooed at the dog, "Oh, yes she is! Oh yes-" Wade was cut off by a man's voice. "Sorry about that!" The two looked at him — Linda had to do a double take. Running towards them was a man also wearing a Deadpool suit — except his mask wasn't on... and he had long luxurious hair. A faint record scratch could be heard. "You gotta be fuckin' kidding me." Linda mumbled. "Come here girl!" The man chuckled showing off pearly white teeth. Wade stood up — holding the dog close, she continued to lick his face. "Who are you?" He questioned looking the man up and down. "Oh, I'm Deadpool." A beat of silence passed, "And I guess you're Deadpool too." He shrugged, "But in here, everybody calls me "Nicepool"."

Nicepool held his hands out, "Oh my goodness, wait 'till you see Ladypool, she is gorgeous!" He exclaimed — Linda couldn't help but feel jealous as she waited for Wade to reply — he glanced at her and audibly gulped. "She just had a baby too and," Nicepool continued, "can't even tell." Linda quirked her brow, "I don't think you're supposed to say that — sounds kinda weird." Nicepool shrugged, "That's okay, I identify as a feminist." Wade nodded with a sigh, "Right." As he looked over the other man, Wade noticed something very appealing, "Are those gold plated .50 caliber desert eagle pistoleros?" Nicepool nodded, "'Course, to match my ear huggie." He pointed at the golden cuff around his ear. Linda crossed her arms as she began to get impatient. "Can I have 'em?" Wade questioned and Nicepool chuckled, "Over my dead body."

Wade shared a look with Linda — as if he was asking for her permission to take them when the man died — she smirked slightly. Nicepool looked between the two awkwardly before letting out another chuckle, "You're fun, you're both fun." The two looked at him. "And I guess you've already met Mary Puppins aka Dogpool." Wade held the dog close as Nicepool stepped forward, "Careful where you put your hands. She's ninety percent g-spot and she'll let you know it. You let this little flirt out of your sight for one second and she starts shopping for a new papa." Wade was clearly attached to the dog for the short amount of time he's known her, "If you can't be a responsible pet owner, then maybe you don't deserve this little unicorn." Mary Puppins whined as if she was agreeing with Wade.

Linda had to admit — the dog was cute. "Guilty on all charges your honor. Shan't happen again." Nicepool said with a smile. "Why're you so nice?" Wade asked making Nicepool shrug, "Oh, it cost nothing to be kind." Linda chimed in, "Shutting the fuck up is also free." Nicepool was taken aback by the language Linda used, "Caliente." Wade motioned to Linda, "This is Linda. She's usually much taller than this, more hairy, and an Australian but she's let herself go since the divorce." Wade squints his eyes, "Where's your mask?" A bird screeches in the distant. Nicepool waves them over, "Come on guys." Linda groans, "He's worse than you." She mumbles to Wade making him nod. "Never thought I'd be annoyed by myself."

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The three walk as Wade speaks again, "We're looking for a group of survivors." Nicepool nods, "Oh, they're out there." They continue walking — Nicepool holds up his pointer finger, "Yeah, but merc to merc, you better hope that you don't run into the Deadpool corps." He chuckles, "Yeah, they're crazy. They will chop you up into a thousand pieces and hide you all over The Void." He sighs, "If only they could process their childhood trauma, they'd go on one heck of a healing journey." Linda rolls her eyes as she speaks, "Look, we're headed for borderlands. You know where that is?" Nicepool nods, "Oh yeah... that's 12 klicks due west." He turns to the two, "I can lend you my ride, if you like." He grins — Linda and Wade look at each other, the merc raising his eyebrows suggestively as Linda holds back her growl. She looks back at Nicepool, "As long as it gets us to where we need to go. I'll—We'll be more than happy to use it."

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