RAINED DOWN

THE BUS STOP

Zeya's pov

"It's been raining since yesterday. Washing off all the dirt on the leaves of the trees, flooding the streets, and making it harder for me to get out of bed. I never liked the rain. Maybe it reminded me of being vulnerable or of the times as a twelve-year-old, trying not to get water on her while getting back from school.

But it's nice to see the rain while being inside the comfort of your house. Water droplets line the window sill, reflecting the wet world in front of it. It's the last day of school for the week, but there's no reason for me to be so happy. I mean, I don't even feel anything apart from being overwhelmed with nerves and stress. I don't know the reason myself, or maybe I do know, but I just don't want to admit it.

I haven't been to school for a week and don't know what to feel about it. I was completely out of myself before this week, and still, I managed to end up going to school last Friday, which makes it a whole week since I've been there.

I had always felt this way whenever things got out of my hands, and I would cry for days on without an end. Im a freaking crybaby. Last week, our test papers came out, and just as always, I FAILED PHYSICS. It's such a normal thing for a normal teenager, BUT this teenager is in her senior year, and this shit is concerning.

I cried and cried, and by Wednesday, I caught a cold somehow (blame my freaking loser of an immunity system). I wish that could have been the only reason, but there is more to it. Senior year is the vital year of school, and all I want is for it to go smoothly, but being weak at maths has ruined my life. I don't even have maths. All I have is physics, chemistry, and bio. I didn't score well in any of them. I was beyond destroyed. Each of the papers that I saw felt like a stab right through my heart.

All this happened last Monday, but I'm still grieving about it. All my hard work went down the drain. It is such a common experience for a student (catch the sarcasm). I felt like clawing my skin off my body, but I resisted. To top it off, I had another problem."

I had written till this much, but I could hear my mother calling for me. Sometimes writing helps to clear my mind, but most of the time, I'm left with an empty feeling. Right now, all I can think of is being a failure as a human being. Not only have I failed myself, but I've failed my parents and everyone who has put the expectations on me.

It's been a whole week since I went to school. I caught a cold and was down with a fever till Monday. I had originally planned to not go to school that day, but Monday escalated to Tuesday to Wednesday and now Friday.

Aster had messaged me asking if I was okay or not, I had told her that I would be coming back from Wednesday but couldn't keep the word. We had both bonded in our first year of high school, and she is your typical extrovert.

I already had bad experiences with people and making friends, but I thought and felt things could go differently this time, I just put a bit too much trust in her. And now I'm in the consequences of my actions, and I'm regretting it.

I go down the stairs, looking out from the window. I can see the rain still pouring down. The only reason my mother allowed me to stay back at home for the whole week was because I was ill, and also, she thought I was studying to make some progress for the upcoming tests.

When I entered the kitchen, it smelled like fish, and I hated that nasty smell.

"We have run out of lemons and parsley, just go to the nearby supermarket and get it for me. I would have gone myself, but I couldn't go out of sight from the oven."

I have been rotting on my bed all day and haven't even done any studying. If I were to say no, I will be getting my ass handed right now.

"Okay, I will go get the things."