Following you | Jilix

Anything with me

The whole weekend I spend getting myself together I was so much lost in the so every single what I did was going to gym and doing homework nothing more even ignore it several of the messages coming out from my friends and it was just irresistible how I couldn't understand what was going on I didn't want to make some stupid assumptions but I really didn't want to read the diary anymore. That I was really summon another person back then and it influenced me so that I decided just to place it all piece of crap inside of the old box and return it back to the storage room. It was no sense in that because I was another person and it was seemed that he was just playing with my mind. I didn't know why exactly he wanted to do though I just decided to mow on finally collecting everything together all that difficult memories. I just decided to let it go I was another person right now and I decided to stick to it. There was no sense for me to return back to that person who I was so I just decided to go out on Sunday evening as my friends wants more game called me up to some random pop to have a Korean barbecue and soju.

I pulled the new Hoodie on myself and some sweats comfortably dressing as I went there I put on 2 to not attract much more attention to myself as I pulled inside of the small little cozy place on the street.

There were a lot of people in the group, but I just sat between Chan and Changbin joining they are conversation as they were talking about some music that they were producing in the moment they took some things that Han was not responding to Zoran. They couldn't move onto the part of the production due to his escape.

-Is it happening to him often?

I ask the question and both of them just nodded meaning that it was quite a routine that he did seem that he was running away from time to time and no one knew where he was.

-It's alright he's doing it from time to time. I guess it's due to social anxiety that he's getting sometimes he talked about that not that very much but he was pretty clean that he needs some time for himself and I am pretty sure he's just drinking alone.

-Why he would do that?

I asked the question as both of them signed and it seemed that the oldest one didn't want to respond to that question. It seems it was a really private matter but the other one decided to share.

-You see Felix, Han is really complicated person he was strangling through those shell anxiety long years ago and it's his common problem. He doesn't like people in general. I mean, like to talk to them or spend a lot of time. He gets tired that much though he likes people with whom he's comfortable and it's both of us so he likes to spend time with us but there are days when he's so cold anxiety balls come back and he usually spend them at home or somewhere else just being alone I don't know really much about this. He's not talking about that but as I heard he was getting better.

I just nodded looking at Changbin who drank another cup of Soju.

Chan just signed it that he knew a little bit more than the other one but he didn't want to speak that much but he turned to me asking for quick Smoke. I was pretty confused and I didn't know that the oldest one was smoking but he explained to me that he was doing it once in awhile so it wasn't a habit so both of us just pulled outside of the pub walking down the street to find the stairs where we can sit and smoke.

-Is there something going on between you and Han?

He asked me suddenly as he pulled out the lighter out of his pocket.

I looked around and it was pretty, but it was so pleasant to see it with him. It felt like I could be a really good friends with him.

-Do you think so? I don't think I am very special person in his life.