Alex Turner/One Shots. (Smuts And Non-Smuts)

Of old! (Fluff/Angst)

We'll go back to smut very soon, dw!
...
Given your past, he was aware that it would weigh more heavily on you than it normally would. However, it wasn't that he thought badly of you or the situation; he simply chose not to withhold information. The conversation was brief, and Alex believed everything had been transparent and resolved. Although he had considered elaborating more, you seemed unbothered, and he didn't want to prolong the subject, fearing it might hurt you when you appeared to be fine.

Now, the contrast was stark. When he told you, you had just returned from work, and as usual, you approached him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders in a hug. He nuzzled your skin, feeling comforted by your scent and reassured by your return-a mix of relief (you were safe) and the desire to be with you. Without feeling the need to delay, he shared his day with you, something typical of your evenings together, except for the fact that he had seen his ex.

You were moving around the kitchen, preparing a meal, and he recalled the sequence of events. As you grabbed ingredients, he mentioned spending the day at the studio with Jamie, and that Katie had been there. During their conversations, Jamie had brought up some ex-girlfriends he hadn't treated well. Despite them not remembering him, he realized he needed to acknowledge his mistakes to avoid imposing his insecurities on others and making them feel responsible. Sometimes Jamie felt like he should have apologized to them in the past.

"Yeah, I can quite understand that." You smiled slightly, and Alex nodded, knowing this mirrored your predominant experience in your previous relationship. He continued, letting you know that he recognized behaviors similar to those Jamie described and felt the need to apologize for some of them. You paused, watching him intently and biting your lip-not nervous, but not expecting such a conversation at the end of the day.

"You know, she's friends with some of our mutual friends. I thought it was worth it for the sake of social harmony, and she knows I'm with you. I called her quickly, and she said she could meet for a snack. It wasn't extensive; I just apologized for certain actions and acknowledged my mistakes. I feel better having talked to her; she didn't deserve some of the things I did. She said she understood and that she's happy now." You nodded as Alex pulled you closer. "That's such an Al thing to do," he laughed, and you forced a smile. But it was too late; his words, the prolonged and breathed intonation, reading your reaction, replayed in your mind like a curse. He cupped your face, gently rubbing your cheek. "I thought it was fair to tell you. Is everything okay?"

If he weren't so close, you probably wouldn't have looked at him. His eyes were bright, so yours, but your body wasn't there for him. You agreed, wondering how often Alex thought of her or if anything had changed after seeing her again. "And what did you eat?" you asked, trying not to sound jealous. You were serious, even though you wanted to hide and cry. "I had an Italian espresso and ordered some cookies; I brought some for you," he said, getting up to fetch them. You smiled because he had remembered you and hadn't mentioned what she ordered. You trusted him, pushing the subject away, insisting you were mature enough to handle it. But after years of being consumed in disposable doses, looking ahead wasn't so simple.

When Alex fell asleep, you found yourself with your fingers in his neck, playing with his soft hair as he snored. He seemed at peace, a strength that made you think he didn't deserve your torments, which you tried real hard to avoid. You kissed his shoulder and left him there, knowing sleep wouldn't come; you had been in this scenario before (never with him). You warmed a cup of milk and thought it was a good time to eat the cookies; the variety and familiar flavors made you feel a bit better. You had no doubt that he loved you, but what if he still thought of her frequently? What if he was happy to see her again? What if you were doomed to just have failed relationships? It didn't make sense; Alex was with you, you knew why they had broken up. You even thought it was good that Alex went to talk to her. However, feelings could change, and we can't control them.