Can I Be Your Spirit Guide ?

Who Was She???

Greetings! Peace & love to all🩷. If you have found this book you are in search of more spiritual thought for food. I get it I was hungry too.

All that I ask is to keep an open mind and be open to receiving all this beautiful insight..

I know you will be able to take at least one thing from this book if not a plethora of things. But without further ado.. let's get right into it shall we ??? 😁

Who was she? Growing up in a family with parents that separated before birth was more harmful than she imagined. She was a beautiful girl from the beginning of time, but when she looked in the mirror that's not what she seen. Wanting so desperately to be liked and accepted weighed her down heavily. She wanted to be accepted oh so bad but she just wasn't. She was just different. If only she could be heard then maybe? Her voice was so light, as light as a rain drop. As calming & soothing as the ocean waters on a calm breezy night. Her voice was truly beautiful, but still so unheard. She had the looks; she had the beautiful voice but what about the insecurities? If they were bullets, then she would've been pierced continuously, over and over. Dead but still alive. Caring but felt like she wasn't cared for. Traumatized over and over, her mask felt so funny but it was only for the world. Heart filled with hurt but love overpowered it. Maybe if she loved too much then that would help, right? So, she thought. Growing up in a household where "what goes on in my household stays in my household" was the motto. So outspoken but silenced. Optimistic but weighed down by the pessimistic burdens from family. Why did she feel like she had to be so accepted and validated from her family? If not them than who else? Truly an extravert but never feeling comfortable outside of her shell. The true turtle. Looking in the mirror and not recognizing herself. Feeling trapped. Trapped in a kid body but feeling like an adult. Trapped in the world cycles. The main character but making herself small for others. Feeling worthy but not worthy enough. So big bright and tall but feeling like a small dim light in the dark. If only she could feel or brighten her light. Maybe just maybe one day.

As she got older the more questions she would have.. Why couldn't she have what the other kids had? Who was this God and why was he to be feared? Why couldn't she be loved like in the movies? Thoughts washed over and corroded her like old overused screws constantly. Her shadow work uncovered this gigantic shadow she had hidden. It was clear to others probably but not so clear to her. The fights and trauma hit her and beat her so much. Flashbacks of being hit popped in her head every now and then. Having been in fights or trauma in general stays their until you release it. Someone named Will once asked her who feels the pain anyway? The body or yo true self? She hurriedly replied "my true self." Hesitant but confident in her answer. It's your true self right? Wrong. We feel nothing here. Everything is an illusion. The body feels the pain. What's the famous saying? "Mind over matter. They also say "you only feel it when you think about it." Crazy right but true. Once we release and stop harboring and thinking about these traumatic experiences that didn't even come close to touching the real essence of our being then that is when beauty will set into play..
But back to the story. She would always get these flashbacks of being hit. That pain was still there. During the fight she felt nothing. But was reminded of the vague trauma every blue moon.

So much trauma filled up that it could cause someone to go insane. When you have so many emotions built up, so much trauma built up it sure does feel that way. She had brain surgery when she was 1 years old because someone bashed her head in. They had to perform brain surgery. Years later she was taunted with the feeling of doctors sawing on her skull.  She didn't feel it or remember it but that pain was still inside. Trapped like a dog in a cage. Who knew after all this talk of trauma it was actually still there. She knew it but she didn't know it. This is why shadow work is very important. But still who was she?