Attack on Titan: A Blacksmith's Tale

Chapter 56: Divide to Conquer

Eren rubbed his brow, irritated. He felt he had just witnessed something incredibly important, flashing before his eyes like sunlight off glass, but it had slipped through his hands. Whatever, though. That wasn't important. What was important was how he had failed, for the nth time. He couldn't master hardening in his Titan form, at all if Hanji's words were to be believe. Yet again, he had failed to stand on his own feet when he really needed to.

But there was something else as well. Eren might not be book smart, but he wasn't stupid. He had noticed a subtle shift in Hanji's demeanor, only when she was speaking to him. There was some intangible something behind her eyes, an odd hesitance. Like something she wanted to say but couldn't. It irritated him as much as it worried him. What could be so bad that Hanji, chatterbox of the Scouts, wouldn't tell him?

"I haven't seen you that deep in concentration since you tried to figure out the ODM gear in Training," the voice of his friend noted. He didn't even realize Armin entered the room until he spoke.

It was so sudden that Eren jolted like a startled rabbit. "Armin," he muttered, trying for a smile in greeting but couldn't make it come for his face.

"Hey," the blond greeted, looking more than a little concerned for his well-being. "What's wrong, Eren?"

Eren heaved a sigh. "You saw me out there. I failed. Again." There was no point trying to evade Armin, frightfully insightful as he was. "I couldn't harden my Titan. I'm still weak, too damn weak to make a difference. Not like Annie or Dillon..."

"That's not true, Eren," he chided quietly, taking a seat next to him. "You were the one who sealed the hole in Trost, and you were the one that helped us all escape when the enemy captured you."

"Two instances, Armin, far between each other as well. And both times, I needed help and got the rest of you in danger. In Trost, I almost killed Mikasa. And with Reiner and Bertholdt, Commander Erwin lost his arm and-" Pain twisted his lungs, leaving him momentarily breathless. "Hannes. He died protecting me, because I wasn't strong enough."

"I wasn't strong enough to save our friends when they needed us," Armin reminded him, remembering that horrible day. "Nac, Mylius, Mina... I froze in the thick of it."

Each name may as well have been a knife, stabbing into his heart. "And why did that happen to begin with?" Eren said darkly. "Because I ran out there like a maniac, when I should have been leading our Squad. Their deaths are on me, Armin, not you. I should have known better, but as usual, I didn't think."

"It's easy to dwell on these things, but if we keep doing that, we'll never look forward," Armin said, putting his hands together. "Just because you can't harden doesn't make you any less useful."

"Does it?" Eren asked, voice bleak. Again, he thought of the things hidden away in Hanji's expressive eyes.

Armin paused for a moment. "This doesn't really have to do with the experiment yesterday, does it?"

Eren considered his response carefully. Armin was his best friend and he trusted him with his life. This was an undisputed fact that would never waver. But Armin was also irritability careful when it came to speaking about matters he considered sensitive, everso loyal to the chain of command that gonvered their lives. He also, like many others, tended to walk on eggshells with speaking to Eren, even though he should know he's never harmed his friend, nor would he. He sighed, deciding to take the plunge: "I'm being lied to, Armin."

"Y-You are?" he asked, shocked that he would even consider such a thing. Clearly, he didn't expect that from him.

"It's Hanji, and Captain Levi. Maybe even Commander Erwin, I don't know." Eren huffed a terse sigh, irritation flickering in his breastbone. "I can see it in their eyes whenever they're speaking to me, especially Hanji. It's like... like they're worried about something."