Camp Hope

chapter 5

okay really quick i was fighting for my life to write this chapter, so please comment your feelings and thoughts - the author 

"Hello Oliver. My name is Dr. Cleo. Jasper here has informed me of something a little bit concerning. Do you mind if we have a chat?"

I now find myself in a crampy office with Dr. Cleo. There's a humidifier in the back producing a strong peppermint smell and Dr.Cleo is staring at me, making me fidget nervously.

I glance around to avoid her gaze, glazing over the mundane pictures on the wall and the fake, dusty plants littering the bookshelves. The light above us is a musty yellow color and the chair beneath me has its plastic covering riddled with holes from where previous kids have picked it before.

I fiddle with my hands, sometimes glancing up at Dr.Cleo and around the room to keep my nerves mostly at bay.

This place reminds me of all of the therapists, school counselors, and principals I had met and sat with before. It's all giving me that familiar sickly feeling deep in my chest but i try to ignore it for now

"Oliver? It was brought to my attention that you have been harming yourself, do you mind telling me why?" she says with a gross, fake voice that sounds way too high pitched for it to be real.

I let out a sigh and just look at her while picking at the skin on my thumb nervously wanting the ground to swallow me whole. "Uhm when I'm nervous i-it prevents a p-panic attack" i mumble and look away from her my breathing becoming heavier "Oliver sweetie look at me" she said softly her voice no longer fake. 

i turn my gaze to hers to see concern in her eyes "that's not healthy honey h-" she paused for a moment presumably to collect her thoughts "have you ever cut yourself Oliver?" she asks me hesitantly and i subconsciously grip my wrists and my body tenses up.  

"u-uhm y-yeah i have" i mumble looking down with tears brimming in my eyes and taking shaky breaths trying not to cry "Oliver i would like to try something with you, okay?" she says and stands up luckily not commenting on my tears "o-okay" i respond with a small sniff

she goes over to a little cabinet and grabs a few bracelets before coming back to her desk "ive had a few campers try this method and so far it works pretty good, so what you will do is when you feel that dread like feeling or feel like your going to panic snap the bracelet against your wrist it will give very little pain and it will stop you from cutting, does that make sence?" she explains

 i nod a little and take the band from her and place it on my left wrist "okay oliver you are dismissed for the day but i would like to see you again in a week or two to see how it is working" she says and i just nod again. i walk out of the cramped office and go back to my big blue cabin and sit on my bed staring at the ground not saying a word

i can feel the stares of my bunkmates but i ignore them just glaring at the wood on the floor my hand covering the wrist the bracelet is on not wanting the others to see it "Oliver?" Cyrus whispers from across the room and i try to ignore the stinging behind my eyes and the small quiver of my lip "are you okay?" he whispers again 

his words make the barely there dam break and i begin to cry into my knees soft sobs wracking my body. feeling the pitiful stares i lay down on my beg and bury my face in my pillow letting out soft sobs. all of the stress from Dr. Cleo finding out about his cutting and knowing that jasper snitched on me making my whole body shake with my sobs 

feeling a mix between anger and devastation. i hear footsteps walking over to me and i look up to see the one bunkmate i didn't want over here "go away jasper" i snap to mad at him to speak normally. he didn't say a word he just sat on the bed with me and sighed. after a moment he began to speak 

"I'm sorry i snitched" that's all he said and with not further explanation he went quiet again "what the actual hell jasper! i literately am on Dr Cleo's radar now since you couldn't keep your trap shut its not like i was cutting all i did was scratch my arm!!!" i scream at him feeling more anger than sadness now.

he just sat there and let me yell "i know, i know I'm sorry but i couldn't just sit there and not do anything plus your here to get help for something, if you didn't need help you wouldn't be at this dump" he replied calmly "no im just fine dealing with it on my own the only reason im here is for my mother!" i say angrily and the look jasper gives me makes me want to smack him

"if your mother had a reason to send you here then quit fighting it and just talk to people, quit bottling things up!" jasper says his voice rising in volume not quite as loud as mine though "WHAT IF I DONT WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE WHAT IF I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!!!" i scream with tears running down my face and jasper goes silent not saying a word he just opens his arms to hug me.

okay yall this chapter was a pain to write lol sorry for spending 8000 years to post it i had to go back and fix things like 80 times so hope you enjoyed; also should i make this story bxb? I've been thinking about it but i don't know yet and i want yalls opinions -xoxo the author