Pen Pal (Drarry) HIATUS

12

TW: panic attack / blood mention.

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Harry was pacing.

Ron and Hermione watched in worry as he picked at the skin around his fingers and paced all through his dorm. They'd been standing there for ten minutes, and while they wanted to stop him they could feel his magic buzzing in the air and didn't want to get blown backwards.

Blood dripped off his hand as he continued to peel back the layers of skin, his breath catching in his throat. He couldn't do this. He would, for Draco. He knew it, and so did Ron and Hermione. He didn't want to though.

It was one weekend, two nights. A small sleepover, it wasn't a big deal. Yet Harry pathetically felt like his chest was getting ripped in two at the thought of going to stay at someone's house that long.

"Harry please, you're bleeding you need to calm down," Hermione said, and as soon as she did she regretted it. The room came to life, things were shaking and toppling over, Harry's magic was pulsing even stronger. They were sure you could feel it outside of his dorm.

Ron and Hermione jumped back in caution, though nothing came flying at them, and Ron sighed, "Hermione go," he said harshly, leaving no room for argument. She knew he didn't want her to get hurt, and so she quietly backed out of the room.

"Mate she's right, you're freaking out," Ron started, walking slightly towards Harry. He was being pushed back by Harry's magic, but he charged ahead anyway, ignoring the burning feeling on his skin, and grabbing his friend tightly.

He had his arms pinned before he could do anything, pulling him down to the floor and situating Harry in between his legs. They didn't usually share any type of over affection, but that wasn't what this was. Not really.

Ron was using the pressure of the hug to try and help regulate Harry's nervous system, trying anything he could to get his friend to take a deep breath. He had seen a book on this once, after Harry's panic attacks had gotten worse, Hermione had made him read it. Now he was glad she did.

Harry stopped struggling after a few seconds though his magic was still thrumming, causing a light burning feeling to Ron's skin, his breathing rough and jagged. Ron started to take exaggerated, deep slow breaths, with Harry's back pressed to his chest. Harry -whether on purpose or not- started to shadow his breathing.

While Ron was working through getting Harry to calm down, Hermione was finding Draco. "Draco, I need you," she said sort of frantically, grabbing his hand.

"Granger, what's in Merlin's name is wrong?" Draco said, expressing his worry but letting himself be dragged to whatever destination Hermione clearly had in mind.

"It's Harry, you do well with him and you know your friends better than I do, I need you to talk to him," she said, panic still lacing her voice.

Draco understood immediately, and sighed internally. He had a feeling Harry wasn't going to respond well to the thought of staying in a house full of people that he used to hate. No matter how differently he felt now, he didn't trust the slytherins yet and Draco knew that.

When they reached Harry's dorm, Draco could immediately feel the magic coming from inside it. He touched the doorknob and winced at how hot it was. Entering slowly, he hadn't been expecting the picture in front of him.

Sweat was dripping down Harry's face, as Ron held him tightly, still working through breathing. Draco stood still for only a second, assessing the situation, before walking over and sitting in front of Harry.

He waited, giving the man a second to feel comfortable, and eventually Harry looked up into his eyes. Draco's heart almost broke right there, realizing how much panic was truly in Harry's eyes.

He pointed to his hands, which were still bloody and raw around the fingers. "May I?" He asked calmly, exaggerating his breaths as well to mimic Weasleys. Harry didn't respond, he looked back down, and after a moment nodded slowly.

Draco gently took one of his hands, summoning a rag and water. He wet the rag in the glass, and then, as gently as he could, started to clean the blood off of Harry's fingers. Having to stop himself from wincing each time Harry did.

When he finished the first hand, he held it for a second longer than necessary, allowing Harry to hold onto it tightly. He slowly moved to the other hand, and began the same process.

In the time that he was cleaning up Harry's hands, Ron had let go of him, and though Harry still shook, his magic had calmed down. Ron didn't move though, allowing his friend closeness until he protested against it.

"Thank you," Harry muttered out, and they knew without it being said, that he was thanking all of them. After a few minutes of silence, Harry spoke again.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, putting his head down. Draco grabbed his hands again forcing him to look up, "don't. If you don't want to go, don't go. Don't force yourself to do something that is going to trigger you. Not for me, or anyone."

"No I promised and I'm going to go, I just, I just had a moment. Really it's okay," Harry was lying through his teeth, nothing was okay, but he put on a smile anyways. It seemed Draco believed it because he sighed and said, "okay, as long as you're positive."

"Let me.. grab my things, and we can go," Harry said in an unsure voice. He got up, ignoring the wobble in his legs and made his way over to his things.

He had already packed his bag, it had been what caused him to spiral so quickly. Packing a bag made it feel real, he supposed. He wasn't ready, but he would get ready.

After all, Draco had been hanging out with his friends with no problem. It was only fair he did the same. Once he had his bag, he turned to his friends.

"You guys ready?" He smiled weakly, trying to force out a false bravado. Hermione and Ron shared a quick glance and sighed, "yeah we have our stuff Har," Hermione said gently, throwing her arm around Harry and squeezing him tightly.

Once they had all of their things they headed off Hogwarts grounds slowly. Draco informed them Pansy and Blaise were already at her house.

When they got off grounds, Draco had everyone grab ahold of him and apparated straight into Pansy's living room. The house was beautiful, though Harry couldn't acknowledge it.

He felt sort of sick, as he heard an excited squeal and, "we're gonna have so much fun!"

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A/N rip Harry's mental health atp (same)

Hope you enjoyed loves.

Much love,

-H🫶🏼