Between the lines of love

Enough

Penda

I woke before her and just laid there, watching her sleep peacefully. She seemed to need this rest, and I noticed she had even begun to snore and drool. Music to my ears. I tried to adjust myself to get closer to her, but she woke up.

"Mama, have you been in here with me this whole time? You didn't have to do that," she said, turning around and finally seeing who was behind her. Her face was a mix of relief, pain, shame, and love.

"Penda!" she screamed before embracing me and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't know we were coming here. I'm sorry I haven't talked to you. I'm so sorry that everything happened. I know you probably don't even want to touch me. I feel so worthless," she carried on before I kissed her to shut her up.

"Fantasia Monique, you are my air. To think of you as useless? Never! No matter what happens, I could never see you as anything less than the incredible, beautiful person you are. I'm so sorry you blamed yourself and thought I wouldn't look at you the same way. It breaks my heart to know you've carried this burden alone, believing your worth diminished in my eyes.

Remember when we first met in elementary school? You were the new girl, sitting alone at lunch, and I was the shy, nerdy girl who offered you half of my Canja de Galinha. Even then, there was something about you that drew me in. From that moment, my love for you has only grown deeper and stronger.

I remember that night I got you out of the dorm just so we could watch the waves at the beach. We danced under the stars, and I knew then, just as I know now, that you are my forever. Nothing can ever change the depth of my feelings for you.

We've been through so much together—the ups and downs, the laughter and the tears. You've been my rock, my confidante, my everything. And now, seeing you so distressed, thinking you're to blame for something out of your control, it tears me apart.

How could you ever expect that to happen? I should have never let her stay there. You weren't comfortable, and that should have been the end of it. You don't ever have to worry about that happening again. I handled her, too. We can relax here for a few days if you want to, but you are coming home.

We have a lot to do—therapy for both of us. I have to take off a few months of work because your life is going to be about aftercare for a while. I moved out of the house about two weeks ago. I wanted you to have a fresh start and not have to deal with any of the memories from that house. Don't worry; I got all your sentimental things, Queen. You know I got you."

"Really, Penda? You did all that for me?" she asked, tearing up. "All that?" "That is nothing. You are my queen, and I didn't protect you. Can you ever forgive me?" I asked, my eyes flooding with tears. "No matter how much I beat myself up or degrade her, it doesn't make me feel better. I need to know you still want to be with me. Do you forgive me? Can we get past this, baby?"

Fantasia looked into my eyes, her own filled with tears, and nodded slowly. "Yes, Penda. I forgive you it  wasn't your fault. I want to be with you. I blamed you a little but I blamed myself more. We will get past this, together." We held each other, both of us crying, but with a sense of hope and determination to heal and move forward, hand in hand.

Fantasia

"Wait, baby," | said, my heart dropping into my stomach. "You said you handled her. Please tell me you didn't kill her. I didn't want that. I just want her away from us. I didn't want her to get hurt." I put my head down, feeling a mix of fear and relief.

"The bitch is alive," Penda said, kissing my face and reassuring me. "Your best friend, though, he kidnapped her from me and had a gang of girls about to take her out when I found her in his-well, your old warehouse."
"Is she okay?" | asked, worried.
"No, she ain't okay, but she's alive," Penda said sharply. "You know, you really are an angel. After all she did, you're worried about her life."