Hidden Grace

6

Arnim lets go of Annika. Annika looks up and sees tears in his eyes. She goes on her tiptoes and wipes the tears away. Arnim looks at the little girl. He finally has his daughter in her hands. She's grown so much since his wife and daughter left. He looks at her features. She looks just like her mother, just like when she was born. He combs his hand through Annika's blonde curls. The little girl's blue eyes stare into the dark brown eyes. Arnim smiles, "You look just like your mama." Annika giggles at the compliment. He thinks about picking up his daughter but decides against it, wanting to take small steps and not scare his own child away.

Arnim thanks the social worker for taking care of Annika. After speaking to the front desk, Arnim takes her to the front of the hospital. Annika gasps when she sees Arnim's car. She has never ridden a car. Arnim opens the back of the car and helps his daughter get in. He puts a seatbelt across her small body and tickles her when he finishes clicking the seatbelt in. She giggles and reaches for a hug. Arnim tightens his hold. Although never having seen her since well... she was a baby, it seems as if no time has passed. He just wished Mia could have seen this interaction.

A tear falls down his face and Annika notices. She gives her father a kiss on the cheek. Arnim smiles and does the same to his daughter, kissing softly on her forehead. He closes the door shut and Annika watches her father walk around the car, hopping into the driver's seat. As her father turns on the car, Annika starts swinging her legs. She holds her stuffed bunny close to her arms. Arnim continues to look at the backseat, as if Annika will magically disappear. He finally notices the stuffed toy, smiling widely that the bunny has survived this long.

The father drives slowly through the streets, keeping an eye on his daughter every now and then. Annika looks outside the window, watching the busy people pass each other on the sidewalks. Arnim focuses on the streets, making sure to not miss a turn as he drives to their destination. Light slowly disappears into the sunset. Arnim starts hearing whimpers behind him and quickly stops the car. "Annika?" He asks as he looks back. He realizes the little girl has fallen asleep. She continues to whimper in her sleep. He exits the car and goes to her side, opening the door slowly.

Unsure of what to do, Arnim nudges the child's shoulder lightly. She continues to whimper, not responding to the soft touches. Arnim bites his lip and unclips the seatbelt, "Annika. Wake up, meine kleine (my little one)." As Arnim nudges the child one more time, Annika suddenly wakes up from her slumber, screaming. Arnim is thrown off by the scream. His eyes widen as Annika starts crying, "Mama. I want Mama." He holds back his tears and straightens up, not touching the child just yet.

Annika continues to cry for her mother, waking up from a terrible nightmare. Arnim sighs and softly says, "I'm sorry, kleine (little one). Mama is not here. Can you tell me what is wrong?" Annika shakes her head as she continues to cry, "I want Mama. Mama huggies." Arnim's heart breaks, feeling hurt by the rejection. His own daughter rejected him, wanting his wife... her mother. He knows they don't have a relationship but still, it hurts.

Arnim reaches for the child's hands, squeezing them. She looks up as tears continue to fall down her face. "I know I am not Mama but... Do you want a Papa hug? It might help?" Annika stares at her father's face. She slowly nods and opens her arms, giving him the chance. He embraces the little girl as she cries into his shoulder, still remembering her nightmare.

Annika saw her mother. She was back in the hospital room. Her neighbors held her, denying the girl to reach for her own mother. She watches as her mother slowly dies. The beeps from the machines slowing down. The lights dimming. The voices become softer. Everything slows as her mother dies... Once again. Doctors and nurses slowly rush in to save her mother but nothing happens. Annika watches and stares, held back by several hands.

Pulling her away from the nightmare thoughts, Arnim asks, "Are you hungry?" As if on cue, Annika's stomach grumbles. Annika gives a small nod to her father. He smiles and helps put on her seatbelt once again. He bends down and grabs the fallen bunny from the floor. Annika smiles as she hugs her toy once again. The father walks around the car once again and turns on the car. They drive for a while until Arnim finally finds a suitable restaurant. He helps his daughter out of the car seat and sets her down on the ground. Annika holds her father's hand and with the other, holding onto her bunny, as they walk into the restaurant together.