青い骨の美 - The Beauty of Blue Bones

Chapter 38

Summer
Monday—10:24AM

There was a weird feeling in his chest seeing her after so long; a feeling that he had become accustomed to as he travelled around the world. Sasuke always felt sorry for something he shouldn't really feel remorse for. He didn't mean to hurt anyone because he was too focused on hurting himself, anyone caught in the crossfire was simply a mistake.

The last time they spoke, he had pushed her off again, telling her that he had no interest in her—and that had been the truth. The truth that had clearly hurt her, but what was he supposed to do? He's always said no, or that he wasn't interested, yet he felt sorry that he hurt her each time and lying would only make matters worse.

Sakura avoided his eyes as soon as she arrived with Naruto at her side. There was shock, and a moment of confusion as she glanced at him before she focused on her teacher and the girl in the bed. That confusion turned into curiosity soon after.

What was he doing here with Hinata?

"I'm glad that you could come so quick, I know it's really early in the morning but—" Tsunade began as she checked Hinata's vitals.

"There's no need to explain, Lady Tsunade, I understand." She tied her hair back and sanitized her hands. "What do you need me to do?"

"Get Sasuke ready to enter the operating room, we're going to need his help."

There was a moment of awkward silence, a pause that everyone felt as Sakura's back straightened and she pursed her lips. If she was being honest, she had thought about him more times than she should have after his rejection. It wasn't anything beyond shame and anger at herself for ignoring how he was feeling in hopes of getting a chance. Still, she thought about him and accepted that he wasn't going to be back for another year or two.

Yet here he was, not even seven months after he had told her goodbye.

"Alright." She muttered. Barely sparing him another glance, she left the room with him in tow.

They didn't say anything to each other; there wasn't anything to really say actually. Talking meant discussing things that remained unsaid on her end, and the questions that began to pile up in her head weren't helping at all.

Really, what was he doing here?

"I'm sorry." He was the first person to break the silence, and with the words he had said multiple times to her.

"I should be the one saying that." The door closed behind them and the lights above did nothing to hide their expressions from each other. She took out an extra pair of scrubs, and instructed him to get changed. "I've been really awful, Sasuke, I admit that."

He didn't respond. As he stared at the change of clothes in his hands, then the change room door separating her and him, he just listened.

"I shouldn't have done and said a lot of the things I did. I was so self centered, so focused on what I could do for you, I just couldn't imagine that you could be those things without me. A part of me was still attached to the you I had in my head, I'm admitting that now and I'm really sorry. I should have been okay with just being a teammate or a friend, at least then we could still be close, and I'm so stupid for trying to push for more."

There was the sound of running water. She had activated the sensor to mask the sounds of her sloppy crying.

"This isn't the time for any of this, I knew you'd be there, Naruto had told me, but I still had to be a mess anyway. The guilt was getting to me; you'd only ever remember me as the girl who couldn't let you go. I didn't want you to feel like you were obligated to return my feelings, but that didn't matter because you thought about it before, didn't you? As long as I was happy, you'd sacrifice your own sanity because you were sorry that you couldn't give me what I really wanted."